


Independence

by FeistyParadox



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: Developing Friendships, Hangover, Implied Nudity, Interpreted Relationships, Post party hangover, Sexual Humor, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2019-08-30 02:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16756216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeistyParadox/pseuds/FeistyParadox
Summary: Asriel Dreemurr, the prodigy of hometown. But his life was never truly his own. Every path he took, every friend he made, all handpicked by his mother. The lustrous shine of his awards sullied by his fears of being a bad brother. His confidence a fragile construct fostered by his mother pushing him to excel, cushioning him whenever he fell. Soon enough he realized that he was nowhere near as special as his mother made him out to be, that his mother only constrained him. It was time for him to choose his own life, his own friends. To make mistakes and bear the consequences.(This story was formerly a one-shot with a different premise)





	1. Headaches, chatting and the obligatory emotional breakdown

**Author's Note:**

> After partying a little too hard, Asriel found himself in a strangers room. Confused, hungover and still slightly tipsy he tries to figure out what happened the night before. Perhaps the stranger standing in the door could help him?

It was slightly past noon when Asriel finally woke up, feeling like a truck ran him over numerous times. Perhaps he shouldn’t have drank that much last night, even though it was just too tempting. Midterms were over and that of course called for celebration, and celebrating he did. One of his fellow students invited him to a party in order to rejoice at the fact they survived the first semester, complete with music, party games and tons of alcohol. And during this little jollification he may or may not had one or two beer too many, which he was regretting right now.

The caprine freshman student found himself lying in a bed that wasn’t his, placed in a room he didn’t recognize, partly because his vision was still a blurry mess. He did manage to spot a few hazy shapes reminiscent of a desk and a wardrobe, but asides from that the world around him was a fuzzy mess. Despite his not so clear vision, the room appeared to be overall smaller than his shared dorm. 

Confused, he tried to sit up but was quickly forced back into a lying position by the sharp pain that shot through his skull the second he moved his head. That must be the hangover he really wasn’t looking forward to. He already swore to himself to NEVER drink too much again. 

There he was, lying in a strangers bed wondering what exactly happened and how he got there in the first place. The only things the hungover monster could vaguely recall were the heavy bass of music that shook the bones in his body, laughing at jokes he didn’t quite hear and all those students that tried to flirt with him, emphasis on tried. None of them made it past the bad pick-up lines part.

That’s when it clicked in his head. Did someone actually manage to successfully flirt with him? Was this the aftermath of a one-night stand? If so, where was his partner? It takes two to tango after all. One the other hand, isn’t that the purpose of a one-night stand. To do the deed and then move on like nothing happened in the first place? There was another thing he realized, and this time it wasn’t just speculation. It was cold, very cold. Someone left the window open and the blanket that covered his body was quite thin, or rather not a blanket in the first place. It was just the bedsheet. Whoever lives in this dorm must enjoy freezing their buns off at night, if anyone actually lives in this dorm. What if this was an unused dorm and he was locked in here until someone would find his lifeless remains?

While Asriel was busy stitching those few pieces he had together without falling into a fit of panic, the door to the dorm opened and a hazy figure stepped inside the room, seemingly carrying something. Was it the grim reaper, ready to guide his soul towards the afterlife? Asriel focused on the figure as hard as he could, squinting his eyes in the process. After a moment of intense staring the figure finally began to take shape. A human with long dark hair, skin pale as a ghost, average build and casual clothes entered the room carrying some sort of tray with something on it. 

“Here, that should help you with your hangover,” the figure spoke in a calm and low voice, seemingly aware of Asriel’s hangover.

Asriel simply shrieked in response, then groaned, clutching his head as another wave of pain shot through his head. Whoever was in front of him was definitely a guy.

“Don’t worry, you’re still a virgin,” the guy joked, chuckling softly as he placed the tray on the embarrassed monster’s lap. “Now, eat up. It’s not much but it should help you with your hangover. Also, I got you something for your headache. Next to the glass of water.”

Slightly confused, the goat monster took at look at the tray that has been placed on his lap, and what was on it. A bowl of cereal, a glass of water and a headache tablet. There was also a small carton placed next to the bowl, though his vision was too blurry to decipher what’s written on it. 

Whoever this student was, right now he’s the hero Asriel so much needed. He was a little confused though. How was he supposed to eat cereal without milk? But he didn’t want to appear ungrateful, so he grabbed the spoon and scooped up some dry cereal. This stranger was kind enough to let him sleep in his bed for the night and even brought him breakfast. Even if Asriel wanted to, he was in absolutely no position to complain.

“There’s milk in that small carton, you know?” the stranger mentioned as he pointed at the small carton.

“Oh, yeah. You’re right,” Asriel sounded almost embarrassed as he passed it off as nothing more of an oversight on his part, and quickly poured the carton’s content into the bowl. 

“We didn’t do anything weird last night, did we?” the still confused monster spoke in a sheepish whisper as he took a spoon full of no longer dry cereal.

“Nope, nothing. You just kind of crashed here and occupied MY bed, in which I was sleeping, until YOU woke me up from MY sleep at three in the morning, reducing the time I slept that night to a measly two hours. Besides, there’s nothing weird about two guys getting a little intimate,” the stranger put a special emphasis on certain keywords, then proceeded to joke a little. “You then proceeded to mumble about your life, your parents, and your sibling whatshisname again? Chris? Kiss?” the male simply shrugged as if to say ‘something along those lines’.

“I hope I didn’t say anything too embarrassing,” Asriel looked off to the side, his eyes now obscured by his floppy ears. It was almost adorable seeing him like that, if it wasn’t for the fact he was not only totally hungover, but most likely still had some alcohol in his bloodstream.

“I’ll be honest, I couldn’t understand a single word of what you were saying. You were slurring your speech so badly it almost sounded like you were trying to summon demons from the ninth circle of hell,” the student had a jesting smile on his face. “The only thing I did kind of understand was something about being a self-taught ambidexter.”

“Hey, I had totally valid reasons for that,” the monster student defended himself against accusations nobody made.

“Of course you do,” the other student shot him a mischievous smile, not believing a single word of what the goat said. “Little tip for the future. Don’t respond to questions or accusations nobody made, you’ll only give away facts nobody needs to know.”

“I swear. I only did so I could study easier,” Asriel continued to defend himself against the now implied accusations.

“Alright then,” the male chuckled, his expression filled with amusement. “On a different note. Judging by the state you were in I’d guess it was your first time drinking?”

“I only had two bottles of beer, alright?” Asriel pouted with his arms crossed.

“You can’t hold your liquor at all, can you?” the stranger asked mockingly. “Not that I’m in any position to judge. I never had any alcohol myself.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I really can’t take much. Mom always insisted it should be a good example for Kris, my adoptive sibling. So she made sure I wouldn’t even look at anything containing alcohol, even at prom night. And to be honest, I’m kind of glad I didn’t drink that night. Things got really awkward with my ‘date’. So awkward mom actually ended up calling the police,” Asriel replied with his gaze fixed on the other male, who seemed fairly amused by Asriel’s little story. “She was a bit of a punk, not only in the way she dressed. Now, don’t get me wrong here. She’s a nice girl once you get to know her, at least I hope so, but she was seriously annoying sometimes. Constantly complaining that someone’s copying her and always using phrases like ‘totally’ or ‘like seriously’.” 

“And let me guess. You were the goody two-shoes overachiever that regularly attended mass, did community service and is generally loved by everyone, right? At least as long as he’s not busy ‘studying’,” the stranger joked. “Of course we can’t forget the obligatory boy band phase.”

“You’re dead on,” the caprine chuckled and continued to eat. “And will you drop it already with the ambidextrous stuff. I already told you I had completely valid reasons.”

“Really? About everything? Even the boy band phase?” the male was amazed by the accuracy of his playful theory. 

Asriel simply nodded gently in response.

“Complete with a crush on one of the members and the embarrassing haircut to imitate them?” the stranger further inquired in a playful voice.

Asriel looked away for a moment, contemplating whether it would be a good idea to tell a stranger of his teenage sins, even though he involuntarily revealed some of them already. He quickly came to the conclusion that there was no real harm in telling a little more. The stranger in front of him had every reason to kick him out, but proved to be quite hospitable. He was probably going to regret that decision later on.

“Maybe I did have a bit of a crush on the guitarist of one of the bands I enjoyed listening to,” the caprine stretched the ‘bit’ as he confessed, drawing yet another chuckle out of the other male. “And yes, I did have a seriously embarrassing haircut for some time. I think I even have a picture of myself with that haircut. I’ll ask Kris if they know where it is when I visit home next week. We have so much to catch up on, even though it’s only been half a year since we last saw each other. I wonder how they’re doing.”

The male, who’s name still remains unknown, pulled up the chair of his desk, fully expecting his caprine guest to tell him every single detail of his relationship with his sibling regardless of whether he was interested in it or not. 

“I’m seriously worried about Kris. They’re a good kid, it’s just… they can be really difficult sometimes. We’re getting along really well, I even used to carry them to school quite often. But Kris was always a bit of a troublemaker, playing stupid pranks on everyone. Like putting bath bombs in the toilet or hiding under the bed of other people,” Asriel began to unload his emotional baggage, not caring whether this was the right time or not. “Whenever I had the time I tried to make some good memories with them. We went trick or treating together even after I grew too old and we would hang out at that one place that served the best, and only, hot chocolate in town whenever my schedule allowed it. But in the end, I was the only one that spend time with them. The others didn’t seem to like them that much. I honestly think they might actually be scared of them.”

The stranger intently listen to Asriel’s story, furrowing his brows and trying to understand the situation Asriel was in.

“I just wish I could’ve been there for them more but most of the time I was simply too busy studying or just working for all those stupid awards I didn’t want. Things only got worse after mom and dad got divorced. Dad always wanted what’s best for everyone while mom wanted me to excel. She signed me up for all sorts of activities, like the church’s choir or piano practice. I enjoyed doing it for the most part, bringing a smile to monsters faces with what I was doing. I spend so much time with the community that I’m pretty much family with everyone. That, and all those hours studying, and I hardly had any time for myself… or anyone else,” Asriel’s expression began to shift to deeply saddened, almost as if he saw all that time he spend as wasted. “All those awards I earned and all the praise I got. All of it is worthless if it isolates me from the people I care about.”

Asriel continued telling his tale and his eyes slowly began to tear up a little. All the while, the stranger remained silent and listened.

“I’m honestly starting to think that Kris feels neglected. I’ve always been the center of attention, winning award after award and everyone loving me. I think Kris just wanted to be acknowledged. That’s why they did all those stupid pranks,” Asriel began sobbing and sniffing as the first few tears began to fall from his eyes and into the snow-white fur of his cheeks. “I’m… I’m just scared they might get off the right path. I don’t want to see them go down a dark road with no return. I know they’re a good person, people just need to give them a chance. I just… I just wish I could’ve been there for them more. I wish I could have told them that, no matter what, I’ll be there for them. But now I think I just… I just failed as a brother.”

The human male remained quiet and got up from his chair only to sit down next to Asriel again, placing an arm around the crying goat’s shoulder. Asriel pulled him into a hug almost instinctively, resting his chin on the males shoulder and holding onto him as he sobbed and sniffed and cried. For at least half an hour he cried, cursing himself for failing as a brother.

Thirty minutes turned into an hour and even after the rivers ran dry, he took another ten minutes to compose himself for the most part.

“Sorry about that, I usually don’t just start crying like that. Especially around strangers,” Asriel sighed as he let go and a reddish tint returned to his face.

“Don’t worry about it, we all have those things we carry around,” the stranger replied reassuringly, a soft smile across his face.

There was a short moment of comfortable silence shared between the two students, a moment just long enough to allow Asriel to take a deep breath without things starting to feel awkward.

Just as the caprine was about to speak up again, a cold gust of wintry air blew in through the open window, causing him to shiver and quickly look down at himself. He quickly realized that the sheet that was covering him slipped down, exposing his upper body.

“Hey, uhm, where are my clothes?” the rather exposed monster bashfully asked.

“Oh, yeah. Your clothes,” the human said as he stood up again, snapping his fingers. “Your hoodie’s under my desk, your pants are on my wardrobe, your shirt’s out the window...” the unfazed human began pointing towards the various location Asriel’s clothes were located.

“What do you mean, my shirt’s out the window?” Asriel, who by now had the sheets pulled back up to his chin, asked with deep embarrassment.

“Well, once you were done talking about your life and all your worries, you thought it would be a good idea to get naked. So you began to take off your clothes and throw them wherever they would land. I forgot to close the window before I went to bed and you kind of threw your shirt straight out of it,” the human male spoke calmly as he moved over to the window.

“Great, and it was my favorite shirt too,” Asriel let out a saddened sigh, his arm crossed over his chest.

“I can see it. It’s in the bushes around the university building. All I need is a long stick and...” the male began, but was quickly interrupted by Asriel screeching in embarrassment once again, a stretched, pained groan following soon after.

“Why am I naked? Where are my boxers?” the bare monster’s voice nearly broke.

“As I said. In your alcohol induced stupor you thought it would be a good idea to get naked. By that I meant completely naked. Yes, that means I’ve seen everything. And yes, that image is forever burned into my mind. Thanks for that,” the human sounded rather sarcastic but didn’t bother turning around. Seeing his guest naked once was one too many times already. “Your boxers somehow found their way on the overhead,” he continued, pointing at the ceiling light that was lovingly adorned with a pair of boxers. Not just any kind of boxers, but the embarrassing kind. One with a big, pink heart on the crotch area and countless smaller hearts everywhere else.

“Why didn’t you get it?” Asriel would have yelled in unjustified outrage, if it wasn’t for his headache that forced him to keep his voice low.

“I’m not going to touch your worn underwear. It would be something different if it was fresh out of the washing machine, but your worn underwear? Nope. I’m not definitely your mother nor am I your boyfriend,” the not so strange anymore stranger spoke in faux anger as he moved towards the wardrobe. “I should have a broom somewhere in here.”

“You could always be my d….” Asriel began with a playful expression but quickly fell silent when he saw the look on his hosts face, who was less than amused by his implication. The stranger was not amused.

“I swear. I’m going to kick you out of this room if you finish that sentence the way I think you will. Regardless of whether your butt naked or not,” the male threatened as he opened the wardrobe, dragging Asriel’s pants off it and causing them to drop onto the onto the wooden floor below with a thump.

The human student then proceeded to pull a broom out of the wardrobe and attempted to lift Asriel’s undergarments off the overhead with the broomstick. This must be one of the most bizarre situations Asriel has ever been in.

“You said you only got two hours of sleep because of me right?” Asriel asked with guilt as he watched how the human poked the overhead with the broomstick.

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it. You’re roommate didn’t spend the night alone and definitely would have woken me up a few minutes later anyway. Just judging by the sounds alone he made it seem like he butchered someone while they were still alive,” the human sounded rather indifferent as he continued to poke at the pair of boxers with the broom.

“Really? Guess I got lucky that I ended up at your place then. I just hope he used his own bed,” the caprine spoke in a relieved tone.

“What am I supposed to say? I had you, a butt naked stranger, hog my bed all night long. Getting out all that fur is going to be a pain in the ass,” the human responded with a less than serious reply and a cheeky smile on his face.

“Hey, I think there’s a big difference in having a naked monster dude sleep in your bed and having two people you don’t really know have sex in your bed,” Asriel replied in an equally dry manner. “Or in more relevant terms. I’d rather have you sleep in my bed butt naked than knowing my roommate took someones virginity there.”

“Are you trying to flirt with me? Or are you suggesting that you wanted me to do something last night?” the human chuckled at Asriel’s example as he finally managed to get Asriel’s boxers of the ceiling light. 

Asriel blushed madly at the strangers words. Did he seriously just said that without loosing his cool? “Well, I… uhm… Now that I think about it… I mean… You did brought me breakfast as well as something to help me with my headache. You listened to my worries and now you’re helping me gather my clothes. So… IF you were to tell me that we actually DID do something last night, I’d actually be fine with that.”

“Why don’t you go take a shower to wash away the smell of alcohol, refresh a little and clear out your mind? You’re talking nonsense again. I’ll try to get your shirt back in the meantime,” the human suggested as he handed Asriel his hoodie and pants, completely ignoring what Asriel just said and what it implied.

“Yeah, sounds good,” the still blushing goat nodded in agreement and took his clothes before disappearing into the bathroom.

The human grabbed his broom and used the moment to move downstairs and to where Asriel’s shirt was located, passing other students that shot him weird looks for carrying a broom outside of his room. Once there, the human began to thrust the broomstick towards the shirt, hoping he would be able to pick it up. After numerous failed attempts, and several face first drops into the hedges, the human managed to retrieve the shirt and returned to his room, now earning even more confused looks by his peers. Once he arrived back on the floor his room was located, he was stopped by another student stumbling out of the room next to his, presumably the guest Ariel’s roommate entertained last night.

“Hey, that’s Asriel’s shirt, isn’t it?” the other student looked at the shirt, then at the one holding it.

“Yes, it is,” the human simply replied.

The still slightly tipsy student looked at the human, then at the door said human was about to enter, then back at the human again, this time with a sly smile. “Guess he’s been spending the night with you, huh? Well, none of my business anyway,” the student simply shrugged and stumbled off to wherever.

The male simply sighed and entered his room, where Asriel was sitting on the bed almost fully dressed. The only place where he remained exposed was his chest, his hoodie lying next to him. Why Asriel didn’t bother to put his hoodie on was beyond the human, though it didn’t really matter whether he wore it or not. The human had not only seen his exposed chest more than once, he also saw the caprine completely nude.

“Here’s your shirt,” the human simply threw the shirt towards Asriel, who involuntarily caught it with his horn. 

“Thanks, again. I really appreciate it,” Asriel smiled at the human as he pulled his shirt of his horns and quickly put it on. “I guess I better go now.”

The male accompanied Asriel to the door, where they stopped to properly say goodbye to each other.

“Thanks again. You really helped me out, in more ways than one,” the caprine looked to the side with a somewhat awkward, almost sheepish expression, his head tilted slightly to the side.

“Don’t mention it,” the male replied plainly, his expression content.

“Well. See you around,” Asriel smiled at the human, offering his hand for a handshake.

“Yeah. See ya,” the human smiled back, sending Asriel off with a handshake.

The human closed the door gently and went straight to bed afterwards, while Asriel entered his own dorm next to he humans. Once he fully opened the door and stepped through the frame he was instantly noticed by his roommate, who had a big grin plastered across his face.

“There you are. I was almost worried you wouldn’t come back again,” Asriel was greeted by his roommate who was still lying in his bed, possibly just as hungover as Asriel was, if not more. “I don’t know who it was you spend your night with, but she was must have left quite the impression if you stayed that long.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” the monster simply shrugged with his shoulders, casually deflecting the implications made by his roommate. Not to mention, if he told his roommate he ended up at another guys dorm he would never hear the end of it. 

“Aw come on now. Now you’re just bullshitting me. You can’t tell me you didn’t get laid last night. Most girls and a shit ton of guys would give an arm and a leg just to catch a glimpse of what’s under your clothes. You can’t tell me you didn’t have a one night thing with at least one of them,” Asriel’s roommate seemed bewildered by Asriel’s claims.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” Asriel didn’t feel like arguing with his roommate and cut the discussion short.

Asriel’s roommate began laughing like a hyena but, judging by his groans and head clutching, regretted it rather quickly. The monster himself simply laid down on his bed, where he finally had the time to properly reflect on what happened today. He woke up in a strangers bed, butt naked. Said stranger brought him breakfast, treated his hangover as best as he could, listened to his worries and even helped him get back the clothes he scattered. He didn’t know exactly how the night after the party ended, but it seems to have ended much better than he expected. Not only that. Thanks to his drunk actions he got the chance to get to meet a person he most likely would’ve overlooked completely, someone he’d happily declare a friend. There was just this one teeny, tiny but ever so glaring problem. In his hungover state he completely forgot to ask for the strangers name.


	2. A Small Talk Over Lunch

Once again, the sun began conquering the sky above, signaling the beginning of yet another day. The first rays of morning sunshine seeped through the blinds and tickled a certain caprine awake, causing him to sit up and rub the sleep out of his tired eyes. Whatever residual alcohol plagued his body yesterday was now gone and so was his pain. Yesterday's events were still stuck on repeat in Asriel’s head. If it wasn’t for the stranger helping him, his little escapade two nights ago would’ve ended up biting him in the ass sooner or later. Whether it was reasonable or not, the caprine felt as if he owed the human something. So he decided to just drop by his room and invite him for lunch, after freshening up of course. 

“You’re heading out?” Asriel’s roommate asked as he raised an eyebrow at his caprine roomie.

“Yeah. Kinda need a change from all that cafeteria food, so I figured I’d check out the nearby diner,” the monster calmly replied as he reached for the door. 

“Cool,” the roommate responded casually as his expression returned to his mobile. “See ya later.”

“Yeah, see ya,” Asriel grabbed everything he needed for the day and left the room.

As he walked towards his savior’s room, he began to realize just what he was about to do. For the first time in his life, he’d ask someone out for lunch. It was more of a friends thing but it still made him a little anxious. Judging from the outside, it would be easy to say that Asriel was the social and confident type that could easily chat up everyone he met. And yes, he was rather popular and had a sizable amount of friends, though groupies might be a more appropriate term. More often that not, the others simply went after his looks. Days were other students wouldn’t try to flirt with him were a rarity, especially when he’s out with the sports club. Those days where they went swimming were the worse. He could feel those hungry eyes eyeing him up and down, mentally removing his swimming trunks. Some guys even tried to sneak a peak at him under the showers.

Asriel didn’t even noticed he was standing in front of the stranger’s door, staring down the plywood door. It was at that moment he realized a bunch of very familiar and even more nostalgic sounds coming from inside. He knew those sounds from somewhere and like some magic incantation, they invoked countless childhood memories. But this wasn’t the moment to listen to the sounds that came from beyond the door. Besides, he didn’t want to appear like a total creep so he knocked on the door and waited for a response. The sounds stopped and the resident he was waiting for replied with a quick “Coming!” seconds later, the door opened and the stranger stood there with a rather surprised expression.

“Hello again, didn’t expect to see you again. Need a place to crash at again?” the stranger joked, referring to yesterday events and making things even more awkward for Asriel.

“Nope,” Asriel blurted out as he felt himself grow just a little more anxious. “Actually, I was just on my way to the local diner and I thought that, since you really helped me out yesterday, maybe you’d like to join me. You know, as a way of saying thanks.”

The stranger raised a hand to his chin, contemplating whether he should take Asriel up on his offer.

“Alright, sure,” the stranger agreed, bringing a smile to Asriel’s face. He enjoyed making other people smile, which was the main reason he put up with his mothers constant demands. And who doesn’t like free food, except Asriel’s wallet maybe. “Just let me get changed into something more appropriate real quick.”

Before Asriel could even realized it, the stranger disappeared back into his room, only to return a minute or two later. Asriel didn’t notice any major differences in appearance. Figures, since he didn’t pay attention in the first place.

“Alright, I’m good to go,” the still nameless stranger left his room and locked the door behind him, only to turn around again with an expression that made it clear that he forgot something important. After a few seconds of thinking, he seemed to have remembered what it was. “Where are my manners, I haven’t even told you my name yet. I’m Noir, pleasure to meet you. Again.” 

Finally Asriel had a name to call the other male by and he didn’t even need to ask. This was going much smoother than he expected. Though he still didn’t quite knew what it was he expected. If Noir had rejected Asriel’s invitation, then that would’ve been the end of the story and Asriel would’ve gone to the diner by himself. But seeing that his invitation was accepted, he no longer had to worry about that. But it also meant he had participate in a pleasant and interesting conversation, and Asriel had no idea what to talk about considering he didn’t know anything about Noir and his interests. The caprine could talk about all of his accomplishments, but then he might come of as a little conceited. Maybe it was a bad idea inviting him after all. Either way, he got himself into this mess and now he has to bite the bullet.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, what were you doing in your room? I’ve heard some rather familiar noises coming from inside,” the caprine attempted to strike up a conversation, though his choice of words might not have been the most eloquent. Most people consider it weird if you listen at their door for any suspicious sounds that might come form the inside.

“Nothing special. Just set up an emulator to play some of the older games that are no longer on the market,” Noir replied calmly on his way to the university campus.

Asriel’s expression shifted into confusion. Just what the hell was an emulator and what does it have to do with old games? “I don’t think I follow.”

“An emulator is basically just a program that allows your computer to imitate a different system. That way you can turn your computer into a virtual version of an older gaming console, which also allows you to run it games,” Noir began with his explanation, and Asriel found himself fascinated. “Let’s take ultimate smashing fighters for example, the game I was playing before you came. Run an emulator that imitates the console the game was released for and you can run it on your PC. That is if you’ve somehow acquired a digital version of the game. Most of the time it’s off the internet. Don’t do that though, it’s piracy and that’s illegal.”

“If downloading them off the internet is illegal, then how did you manage to get a copy?” the caprine shot a concerned look towards his human companion.

“Pretty sure there’s a way to connect the cartridge, or at least the part that has the game stored, to your PC,” Noir’s response sounded rather clueless, which made Asriel more than just a little suspicious. “If it helps, I used to kind of own an original copy of the game.”

“What do you mean? Kind of?” the monster raised an eyebrow, unsure whether he wanted to know the answer or not.

“My half-brother forgot his cartridge when he visited about 15 years ago. Haven’t seen him since. He used to call every now and then, but that’s also several years ago,” Noir shrugged in dismissal. 

“Do you miss him?” Asriel inquired, curious to find out more about the humans family.

“Nope. That guy’s a complete and utter failure in every sense of the word. Empty promises, false hopes, lies and drugs. I’m honestly glad that guy’s out of my life,” the human’s reply sounded almost bitter and even though Asriel was in no way affiliated to him, he still felt a little bad. Noir’s half-brother seemed to be that kind of person Asriel fears Kris might see him as, except the drug part. His mother would kill him if she found drugs on him.

An oppressive silence began to fill the air. The more Asriel thought about what Noir just told him, the more he sunk deep into his own little thought construct. He didn’t want to be that kind of brother that isn’t there for his sibling. But he felt as if he was just that, a brother that failed to be there when Kris needed him. And how was a supposed to feel any different? School, studying, homework, chores, piano practice and all that other stuff that earned him all those awards. How was he ever supposed to spend time with Kris, save for those rare days he called free time? 

“You alright? You look like you got something on your mind,” Noir must have picked up on Asriel’s sudden silence.

The caprine sighed in response, hoping it would buy him just enough time string together a coherent thought. “Can we talk about this later? I need some time to sort my thoughts on this.”

“Fine by me,” the human agreed, much to Asriel’s relief. This was a rather heavy topic for him.

The pair continued on their way to the local diner, exchanging words every now and then.

“Well, we’re here. This is the place,” Asriel stopped in front of the diner, taking in it’s sight. The barrel vault roof, the curtains in the window, the flashing neon sign, it all captured the charm of the mid 20th century. “Let’s get inside.”

Noir nodded and followed the caprine inside.

The inside was an utter blast from the past. The black and white tiled floor, the stools around the counter, the seats and even a jukebox. 50s rock music played in the background and even the employees were styled like their were straight out of that time. This place felt like an entirely different era and it was charming to say the least.

“So, what do you think?” the monster turned to face the human, shooting him a curious look.

“It’s quite charming, I like it,” Noir met the caprine with a smile.

“Great, let’s find a table then,” content with Noir’s answer, Asriel began looking for a nice table to sit at. Considering that most seats were empty, finding an empty table shouldn’t prove too difficult.

Asriel choose a table more in the middle, not too far back but also not too close to the entrance. Even the menu’s, that were already placed on the table, captured the charm of times long past. From their style to their content.

“Do you already know what you’d like to order?” Asriel looked up from the menu, facing Noir with a questioning expression.

“I do,” he answered with a calm expression.

As if on cue, a waitress approached. “You two ready to order?” 

“Yeah, you first,” Asriel replied, then pointed over to Noir.

“I’d like a hamburger, french fries a side and a glass of still water,” the human named his order and Asriel raised his hand, two fingers pointing upwards as if to say ‘make that two’.

“Coming right up,” the waitress said once she wrote down the order, disappearing again soon after.

With the order under way Asriel began staring out the window, watching people pass by the window. A sad sigh escaped his throat, fogging up the window in front of him. He began drawing shapes, almost as if it was a reflex. Noir watched intently and, after a minute or two, began to mimic Asriel’s action. The goat noticed and a shy smile flashed across his face for a second.

“Kris and I used to do this back home. Whenever I had the time we went to the local diner. We’d drew shapes in our breath while enjoying a cup of hot chocolate,” the monster began sniffling, his eyes starting to glisten with tears. “I miss those days. I fucking miss those days.”

“Hey now, don’t be like that. You get to seem them again in a few days, right?” Noir shot an empathetic smile towards Asriel, hoping it would help him cheer up.

“But what if they don’t want to see me? I couldn’t be there for them most of the times. The local community is afraid of them. I was Kris’s only friend back home. What if they think of me as a complete and utter failure of a brother?” Asriel cried out. Tears were starting to fall from his eyes and into his fur.

“Bullshit! Kris is lucky to have you as a brother. You might have been busy most of the time but you spend time with them whenever you could, right? You care about them, you want to see them safe. If that’s not the sign of being a good brother, then I don’t know what is,” Noir slammed his palms down on the table and gave Asriel a stern lecture. “Stop wallowing in self-pity. You’re the best brother a person can ask for, get that into your head.”

Hearing those from someone who is still a stranger, it made Asriel laugh. He just began laughing as he wiped the tears out of his eyes. “Yeah, you know what. You’re right. I’ve been the best brother I could’ve been. If anyone’s at fault, the it’s mom. She made do all those things that earned me those stupid awards.”

“Now that’s the spirit, well, almost. Maybe not the blaming your mother part. Other than that, yeah. You were the best brother you could’ve possibly been. Don’t let anyone, not even your brain, tell you otherwise,” and Noir did it again. He took a crestfallen Asriel and helped him back up on his feet.

Asriel remained silent for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. You’re absolutely right,” he sighed, regaining his composure. “Thanks. You’ve seriously helped me… again. Today’s on me.”

The staff around here must be professionals when it comes to arriving on cue. Just as Asriel finished his sentence, the waitress from earlier arrived with the food.

“Here ya go, enjoy,” she placed the plates on the table, including the glasses, and moved on to the next table.

“Well, then. Bon appétit!” Asriel, now in a much more cheerful spirit, took a bite out of the burger and his eyes widened. “Holy crap this burger is amazing.”

Noir raised an eyebrow at Asriel, then took a bite himself. “Fuck me, you’re right,” he quickly placed a hand over his mouth once he realize what he just said. “Pardon me, that kinda just slipped out.”

The caprine chuckled slightly. “Don’t worry, that happens sometimes.”

The two sat there, eating their food and talking about everyday topics. Music, studies, hobbies, whatever came to mind. Time passed, minutes feeling like seconds and the food didn’t even had the chance to go cold. It was days like these that Asriel savored the most. Just hanging out, chatting and enjoying good food. Days like these were the best kind. 

“Az? Dude, I haven’t seen you since the party. You’re here with a girl?” a voice, familiar to Asriel but foreign to Noir, came from the general direction of the entrance. Whoever that voice belong to, they were approaching quickly.

Asriel perked up and spotted a familiar face. “Oh? Hey Dave, didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Didn’t expect to see you here either, especially not with another guy,” Dave looked over to Noir, who return the gaze with a rather confused expression. “You two dating?”

“Nope. Just my way of saying thanks to him,” Asriel explained in a casual tone.

“Thanks for what?” the human inquired further.

“I got pretty wasted on that party and kinda ended up crashing in his room. Spend the entire night sleeping in Noir’s bed. He really helped me dealing with the aftermath, even went so far and brought me breakfast,” the caprine explained further, sharing his recollection from that day.

“Really? Az spend the entire night occupying your bed and you still helped him out?” Dave looked at Noir with a wide smile, then returned his gaze to Asriel. “Dude, that guy’s a keeper. You better tie that knot before someone else does.”

Asriel’s eyes widened, a bright blush spreading on his face. Just what was he supposed to say in response. He’s still getting to know Noir and now someone’s telling him this?

“Crap, gotta go. I’m supposed to meet someone here. See ya guys,” with that, Dave left the two to themselves. 

The caprine sat there, his mind unable to form a single thought as his face continued to burn bright red.

“I don’t think he was talking about that kind of knot,” Noir gave Asriel a disapproving look which caused Asriel’s blush to deepen, the tips of his ears now colored in a deep red.

Asriel began stumbling over his own thoughts, chopped bits and pieces of words coming out without any thought behind them. His brain couldn’t form a proper reply to Noir’s innuendo. How was he supposed to react after Noir’s implication of more intimate interactions?

“Anyways, who was that guy? You seem to know each other,” the male inquired in an attempt to shift the conversation to something else.

“Not really. We see each other at the sports club sometimes, though I don’t think you can really call it a club,” the caprine was quick to to respond and used the opportunity given to him so he could change the topic. “The entire thing is more of a, ‘come if you feel like it’ thing. He’s one of the few that don’t try to sneak a peek at me.”

“Uhm, what?” Noir gave Asriel a confused look, unsure what the caprine was hinting at.

“The entire sports club is pretty much just a free for all group where everyone can just drop by when they feel like it. They go swimming together or play games like soccer or dodge ball,” the monster explained, regaining his composure.

“I kind of figured that’s what the sports club is about. I was actually referring to the entire ‘sneak a peek at you thing’,” Noir clarified his initial question. “Do you have to deal with a bunch of wackos trying to snap pictures of you when you’re rather exposed?”

“Ugh, you can’t imagine all those stares I get in the changing room or when we’re swimming,” Asriel grunted out of annoyance. “And don’t get me started on how things are in the showers. I would have never expected that I had to tell this many guys to keep their eyes above the waistline.”

The human blew out air through his nose, chuckling to himself in amusement. “Beats me why people want to see you THIS bad. Nothing special worth seeing anyway.”

“C’mon, really? You don’t even know what I look...” Asriel wanted to say something, but fell silent once he remembered that Noir did see him when he was a little more exposed. “You know what, nevermind.”

“What? Would you rather have me tell you I enjoy staring while you’re butt naked?” the human joked, shooting a playful grin at the caprine. “Now, don’t get me wrong. You are fairly handsome but that will only get you that far. A good personality can take you a lot further than good looks ever could. Truth be told though, you have both.”

Asriel could feel himself blush again. Did he just received a compliment? Like an actual, genuine compliment and not type people use to get in his pants? And why did Noir look like he struggled not to break out into a fit of laughter? 

“Thanks,” the caprine spoke in a hurried tone. He was struggling to process the compliment given to him.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Asriel let out a content sigh. “I can hardly remember the last time I had the chance to talk to someone like this. Mom’s been keeping me really busy back home.”

“Soccer mom?” the human questioned with a hint of disdain in his voice.

“Worse. Religious soccer mom,” Asriel replied with an unnerved sigh. “Don’t get me wrong. I really care about mom. It’s just the fact that she can be quite pushy.”

“Geez, that must suck,” the human declared his sympathy for Asriel.

“It’s not THAT bad. I mean, sure, mom was a bit of a control freak when it came to my life. She’d always drag me to church, and other places. She even signed me up for the church’s choir and countless other activities,” the caprine explained, his expression reminiscent of both, pleasant and not so pleasant memories. “All of that played a huge part as to why I’m so popular around my hometown. Outside of it however, I’d be totally lost.”

“Hold on. You used to be a choir boy?” Noir chuckled heartily. “Singing and all?”

“Everyone told me I have a beautiful singing voice, alright. Besides, they had some really amazing fruit punch,” the monster got a little defensive. “In all honesty though, I moved on from this entire religion thing.”

“I’ve never really bothered with religion to begin with. As long as it doesn’t get other people hurt, I could hardly care less,” the human leaned back into his seat and took a look outside the window. “Say, how long have we been here now?”

“Oh? Hold on, let me check,” the monster pulled out his mobile and glanced over the screen. “It’s almost 4PM. We’ve been here for at least five hours now.”

“Time really flies when you’re enjoying yourself, wouldn’t you say so?” Noir looked at Asriel with a content smile on his face. 

“Yeah, it really does. But I think it’s about time we go back. My roomie probably thinks something happened, considering how long I’ve been gone,” the caprine spoke in a mildly concerned tone, earning an understanding nod in response. Asriel then turned towards the counter, raising an arm, calling someone over. 

A different waiter than the one from earlier was quick to approach. “Enjoyed the food?”

“Best burger I had in a long time, I’ll be sure to recommend this place,” Asriel complimented, making his satisfaction clear as day. “Everything goes on the same bill.”

“Alright, that will be 12$ then,” the waiter spoke, surprising Asriel with the rather cheap price. He handed over a flat 15$ and the waiter left again.

“Well then, let’s head out,” the caprine got up and made for the exit, Noir following behind.

The way back to the campus grounds was quiet in a comfortable way. It gave Asriel the opportunity to reflect on today’s events. He decided to go out on a limb and invite Noir for lunch. Noir accepted and they not only enjoyed a nice meal but also a nice chat. The caprine would even go so far and consider Noir as an actual friend. Though there was one thing he wasn’t sure about. Was this just friends hanging out or could this be considered as some sort of date? If it were the latter his mother would probably give him all sorts of hell, seeing just how set she’s in her religious ways. He continued thinking things over and over, until the duo arrived back at the campus grounds. 

“Uhm, Noir. Can I ask you something?” the caprine asked his human companion with a shy expression.

“Sure, fire away,” the human replied without hesitation.

“You said you were playing ultimate smashing fighters, right? Would you mind if I drop by sometime to maybe play a round or two?” the monster kept his timid expression as he carefully expressed his request.

“Not at all, just be sure you let me know beforehand,” the human agreed, bringing a smile to Asriel’s face. “You’re probably going to need my number for that though. Mind giving me your phone for a second?”

Asriel was almost perplexed by Noir’s request but ultimately complied. Seconds later, he had his phone back in his hands with a brand new contact added.

“Well then. Thanks for inviting me for lunch. Have a nice day,” Noir wore a content expression as he looked at Asriel with a smile.

“Actually, I have to thank you seeing how you’ve put up with my rambling again,” Asriel replied, bearing a thankful tone. “So, yeah. No problem. I’ll see you around.”

And so the two returned to their dormitories again and while Noir was by himself, Asriel had a roommate who was quick to greet him.

“Geez, where have you been all that time? Was the diner at the other side of town or are you secretly dating someone?” Asriel’s roommate began bombarding the caprine before he could even enter his shared room.

“Nah, I just met someone at the diner. We kinda lost track of time while we were talking,” the monster replied and while not lying per se, he wasn’t telling the truth either.

Today has been another unexpected day for Asriel. What was meant to be nothing more than a simple gesture of gratitude turned out to be a little more than that. He wasn’t going to complain about it though. Noir didn’t seem to be interested in his body like most others were. It was a welcome change and those words of encouragement Asriel needed were a nice bonus. Perhaps this was the beginning of a long lasting friendship.


	3. Family

A fresh morning dawned upon the world and the day Asriel would visit his family was within arm’s reach. Tomorrow, by this time, he’d sit in his mother’s car on the way to hometown. He’d have to answer countless question, some more embarrassing than others. One of them would be about his grades, which took a rather steep drop since ever since he began going to college. Back home he was a straight A student, and now. C+’s and B’s everywhere. What was his mother supposed to think of him? She’d be disappointed with him. Hell, he was disappointed with himself seeing that he turned from priced star pupil to average Joe in less than half a year. 

And what about the fact he still hasn’t found a girlfriend yet? The closest thing to a girlfriend he had was Noir, and he wasn’t THAT close to him, or a girl. What was he supposed to tell Toriel, that he’s currently trying to figure out what he’s into? Just the notion that he may have feelings for another guy that could be a little more than just platonic would earn him an earful from his rather traditional mother. 

All those worries that came up when he’d have to confront his mother tomorrow, they were driving him up the wall. But he knew a solution, and it wasn’t alcohol, yet. So he pulled out his phone and began texting his human friend, who should be awake by now. It was 10 AM, if he wasn’t awake now he’d be soon, whether he likes it or not.

_Hey, you awake?_

_Yeah._

_I don’t want to come of_  
_as pushy but,_  
_Are you free today?_

_Yes, I am._  
_You want to come over, or?_

_If you don’t mind…_

_You’ve got something on your mind,_  
_don’t you?_

Asriel almost dropped his phone. Noir hit the nail smack dab on the head. How could he possibly know this? Was he a psychic or maybe just a lucky guess? Either way, when Asriel looked back on his phone he saw a new message.

_I’ll take your silence as a yes._  
_Well, feel free to drop by anytime._

Still dumbfounded by how precise Noir’s assumption was, Asriel weighed his options. Should he really go and hang out with Noir again? The little lunch ‘date’ was only a few days ago. If he kept seeing him this frequently people might get the wrong idea. On the other hand, ultimate smashing fighters. Through the means of modern technology, as well as methods of questionable legality, Noir could give him the chance to relive his precious childhood memories. The answers was simple. If people want to think he’s dating Noir, then so be it. He had the chance to play his favorite childhood game again and vent all of his worries on top of it. No loss here. 

“You’re heading out again?” Asriel’s roommate asked, once he realized the goat was about the leave their shared room again.

“Yeah,” the monster replied in a casual tone.

“Going out for lunch again?” the nosy human pushed further, hoping he’d get answers.

“Nah, just hanging out with a friend,” Asriel dismissed his roommate’s claims.

“Really now?” the human sounded doubtful. “Curious. Ever since that party you’ve been out more often than usual. You’re secretly seeing someone?”

“I don’t need to justify myself to you,” the freshman turned defensive at the claims made against him, which wasn’t the smartest move. Now his roommate had every reason to be suspicious.

“You’re right. You don’t,” The human simply shrugged in response. “Enjoy yourself.”

Great, now Asriel’s roommate was definitely onto of him. It would only be a matter of time until the rumors start spreading. Was Asriel secretly dating a girl? Maybe even a teacher? Could it be that he’s dating multiple girls at the same time? Or maybe, just maybe, he’s actually dating a guy? Why anyone would give a damn who Asriel may or may not be dating was a completely different question. People just need their juicy gossip otherwise they might realize how boring their own lives are.

Instead of pondering on that thought any longer, Asriel grabbed his keys and left the room. Within the blink of an eye, he found himself standing in front of Noir’s door again. It was the second time within seven days he consciously made the choice to visit him. If this keeps going he might start believing there’s something more going on himself. Either way, instead of wasting time standing there like a creep, he knocked on the door.

The human was quick to respond and even quicker to invite his neighbor inside. And Asriel gladly accepted, feeling relieved to have someone to rely on in his life.

Once inside, he took a good look around the room. Everything was the way he remembered it, well what he remembered of it. It would be surprising if things were any different. This was a university dorm. The occupants didn’t really have the option to give them a unique touch other than through small objects. One thing did stick out though. The very familiar character selection screen that was currently flickering on the monitor sitting on the human's desk.

“So, what’s on your mind?” Noir inquired as he sat down on his chair, motioning for Asriel to sit down on his bed. 

“Well, where do I start?” Asriel let himself plop on the mattress with a defeated sigh. “There’s a lot going through my head right now.”

The human leaned back into his chair, arms resting on the arm rest. “Start wherever and work it out from there.”

“Well, let me start with this. Did you already got your midterm results?” the monster let his head drop on his hands, arms resting on his thighs.

“Yeah, I did. Straight A,” Noir sounded rather satisfied with his result. “What about you?”

Ariel’s expression dropped and his head tilted to the side, eyes looking fixed to the ground. “B-. That’s the worst I ever did.”

“That’s still a passing grade, isn’t it?” the male asked, trying to sound encouraging.

“Yes, but still. I never, EVER, got anything less than an A back home. And now all I’m getting are B’s and the occasional C+ on a test. Mom will kill me if she finds out,” the monster let out another defeated sigh as he dropped on his back, his limbs sprawled out. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong but, isn’t it normal for your grades to drop in the first few months of uni? I mean, mine did,” Noir tried to sound as encouraging as possible.

“What do you mean? Did you used to be a straight A student too?” with one eyebrow raised, Asriel let his head roll to the side to face the human.

“I guess,” the male simply shrugged. “You don’t need to be a prodigy to get A’s all the time. It makes things a lot easier, but in the end all you need is discipline. Even if it sucks, you have to take some time out of your day and study.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Asriel groaned, shifting his body into a more comfortable position. “Studying is just no fun. I only did it because otherwise mom would yell at me all day.”

“That’s where the discipline comes in. Even if it’s boring, even if you could think of a million better things to do. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it. Makes the rewards at the end of the road all the sweeter,” Noir replied, sounding more and more like some dumb self-help guide. “I’m sure your parents are proud of you, seeing that you made it to uni.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” the monster didn’t sound fully convinced and broke eye contact, eyes now staring at the ceiling. “Hey, maybe it’s just me but your bed feels a lot more comfy than mine.”

“Don’t change the topic like that,” the human reminded Asriel, wiggling his index to amplify his reminder. 

“Oh, C’mon now. You’re bed’s really cozy. I wouldn’t mind spending another night in here,” the monster whined with a playful expression on his face.

But Noir wasn’t having any of it and promptly stood up from his chair and gently pushed Asriel closer towards the wall the bed was resting against, laying down next to him. The bed was way too small for two people, and as a result, the enitre thing was a rather tight fit.

“If you don’t mind sleeping in my bed, then I’m sure you don’t mind sharing it either,” the human spoke as if he had not a single care in the world, looking straight into the caprine’s eyes with, what could almost be considered bedroom eyes.

“H-hold on,” Asriel jumped up and out of the bed, flustered to no end. “Wait just a minute.”

“What’s the matter? Do you seriously believe I’d make a move on you just like that?” Noir sat up again, shooting Asriel a fairly amused expression. “Sorry if I got your hopes up.”

The caprine failed to find the words for a proper response, and just stood there dumbfounded. He was getting very mixed messages right now. Was this nothing more than playful banter or was Noir actually hitting on him?

“You OK?” the human, who seemed rather concerned by Asriel’s reaction, moved to the edge of the bed, looking at Asriel with a worried expression. “I’m sorry if I crossed the line there.”

“No, no. It’s alright. You just caught me a little off-guard,” Asriel chuckled nervously once he managed to get out a handful of words. “Mom would probably chew me out if she knew what’s been happening in the past days.”

Noir sighed in response. “Yeah, I remember.”

“I mean, she’s not a bad person. It’s just, she’s quite set in her ways. She’s always on about how I will get a good job with great pay, find the perfect wife and start my own family,” the monster sighed in frustration. “It’s as if she’s the one pulling all the strings in my life. I guess you can say she’s a real helicopter mom.”

“Geez, life’s dealt you some real shitty cards,” Noir replied in his usual, casual tone. “Say, is her name Karen by any chance?”

“No, it’s Toriel,” the caprine chuckled softly. “Seriously though, I feel kind of lost. Like I’ve been abandoned in the middle of nowhere. Everything’s just so confusing to me. My people skills suck because mom always did the talking for me and whenever I did talk to someone, it was always about my accomplishments. I don’t know how to handle conflict or failure, I don’t know how to hold a conversation, I don’t know what to do when I’m in love, I don’t know anything.”

“You’re holding conversations rather well, if you ask me,” the human tried to give Asriel a little push of courage.

“If you say so,” Asriel’s reply came out as more of a whisper than anything else. “All of this is just so new for me. When I look back at it, I feel like I’ve not only been sheltered my entire life but also made out to be so much more than I actually am.”

“Well, you realized the situation your in. That’s a step towards the right direction,” Noir tried to sound as encouraging as possible.

“Are you sure? I still feel rather helpless,” the monster sighed and plopped back onto Noir’s bed, his head buried in his hands. “I just feel like my whole world is crashing down on me.”

Noir gently placed a hand on Asriel’s shoulder and gave a gentle but reaffirming squeeze. “Tell you what. If you get buried under the debris, I’ll be there to help you out.”

Asriel looked up again, flashing the human an insecure smile. “I’d rather not have my world collapse in the first place.”

“This is mainly about your mom, isn’t it,” instead of further beating around the bush, Noir decided to jump straight to his conclusion, voice calm and assuring.

Asriel remained silent and rolled onto his back again, eyes fixed on the ceiling. He was once more shocked by how quickly Noir could see through him. Though he did make it rather obvious that his mother’s high expectations put a huge burden on him. 

“Mostly, yeah,” the caprine sounded rather gloomy. “I don’t even know how to put this. Mom not only hammered all of her believes into my head, she also as incredibly high expectations in me, like I will find the cure for cancer. If I tell her my grades dropped as much as they did, that I got utterly wasted at my first party and that you’re the first person outside my family to ever see me naked, I don’t know how she’d react.”

“Why are you so afraid of what your mother thinks of you?” Noir tried to pry a little further, hoping to tickle just a little more information out of Asriel.

“Because my family is already a bit of a mess. My parents are divorced, my adopted sibling is an outcast, my mother is an absolute helicopter parent around me and dad’s basically been kicked out of the family. I don’t want things to get any worse than they already are,” Asriel spoke in a disheartened tone, seemingly heartbroken by the state of his family. “I still get to see dad whenever I want, but still. I just miss having him around home.”

“And burdening yourself like you do right now won't help you either. Keep going like this and you’ll either end up dead in some ditch or in hospital. That will fuck up your family more than anything else ever could,” Asriel was almost shocked by how brutally blunt Noir’s reply was. “There’s nothing wrong with keeping close ties with your family, but what you’re doing won’t make anyone happy in the long run. Right now, it seems you only live for other people. You have to start living for your own sake, be the person you are and not the one people want you to be. Even if it goes against your mother’s believes, blood is thicker than water. If she really cares about you, she’ll accept you for who you are.”

“But what if she won’t? What if she hates me for who I really am, whoever that may be? Just look at me and what happened in the past few days. I don’t even know who I really am. Right now, I feel like I’m just a rowdy teenager,” the caprine seemed at the verge of a mental breakdown.

“What the fuck are you on about? You had a cup too many on your first night drinking. So what? Everyone that goes out drinking for the first time ends up utterly wasted. Now you know your limit can make sure it won’t happen again,” the human was seemingly getting frustrated by Asriel’s whining. “Grades dropping in your first month of university is normal too. And me seeing your dick? Embarrassing? Sure, won’t deny that. But you're acting like we’ve not only been fucking like rabbits ever since, but that your mother will rip your head off because of it,” and now Noir was scolding Asriel, acting more like a parent that a friend.

“But...”

“Stop it with your buts already,” Noir interrupted his friend, frustrated by Asriel’s attempt to rationalize. “Seriously, you’re making mountains out of molehills.”

“Then how would your mother react if your grades dropped? How would your mother react if you got wasted on your first party and what if you would tell her you woke up in the bed of a guy you’ve never even seen before?” Asriel asked with an almost agitated tone, eyes now fixed onto the human with a furious glare.

“Honestly, she’d be happy for me. My grade are still above a C, so mom won’t complain all that much. And all that party stuff? Yeah, mom would be damn happy about that, even if I got wasted. That would mean I actually got out there and made friends,” Noir began to answer Asriel’s question, obviously having lost all patience with him. “If I ended up butt naked in your room, we’d probably end up laughing about that. And if we had sex, well, I don’t think she’d care much about that either.”

“You’re joking, right?” the goat refused to believe Noir’s statement and didn’t attempt to hide that fact.

“Nope. I’m being honest right now. My mother would be genuinely happy for me if I made friends at uni. And if a somehow end up with a boyfriend, she wouldn’t complain either. As long as it makes me happy,” the human reaffirmed his statement.

“Must be great to have such a carefree live,” Asriel almost scoffed at he human’s reply, further agitating him.

“I wouldn’t know,” Noir scoffed back, seemingly having taken offense to Asriel’s accusation. “I can’t allow myself to fail university, so I guess I can kind of relate to how you feel about your grades.”

“What do you mean?” the caprine asked, curious about the human’s remark.

“My parent’s saved up a lot of money to get me into this university while I spend days studying, pulling an all-nighter more often than I can recall. My family has such high hopes in me, I can’t allow myself to disappoint them, I won’t disappoint them,” Noir sounded almost aggressive, something Asriel didn’t expect at all. “They did so much for me, it’s time I give something back.”

Now Asriel simply felt bad for what he said. Judging by what Noir said, his parents weren’t all that well off. They gave everything so their son could go to uni, and he’s doing everything within his power to make sure it wasn’t for nothing.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Asriel apologized, looking off to the side with an ashamed expression.

“Don’t worry about it, you said what you said. You can’t take those words back, so it’s best to just leave it be and move on,” it seemed as if Noir moved on from those things rather quickly.

Silence filled the room once more and Asriel simply sat there, still feeling bad about what he said. Noir always seemed to be just fine with those things life throws at him, never really bothered by anything. But behind that, was an entirely different person. Maybe Asriel’s first assessment of him was wrong. Perhaps Noir wasn’t the happy-go-lucky type of person Asriel thought he was. Perhaps he was a lot more serious than he first presents himself to be.

“Here,” Noir spoke up again, throwing a controller in Asriel’s direction while pointing at the screen of his PC. “That’s another reason you came over, right?”

Asriel could only nod in response, surprised at just how odd Noir was. It was almost uncanny how quickly he moved on from things. But it was also one of his most intriguing qualities, one Asriel wished he had.

“I assume you remember the controls?” the human spoke, teasing the monster boy with friendly banter.

“I’m pretty sure I remember enough to kick your ass,” Asriel replied, full of confidence.

“Talking big, eh?” Noir had a smug grin on his face as he challenge his friend. “I’m going to enjoy kicking your ass.”

“Only time you’ll kick my ass is when you kick me out of your room once you’re crying from me, mopping the floor with you,” the goat was getting cocky, a little too cocky for Noir’s liking. Time to wipe that complacent grin off his face.

“As my guest, you get first choice. Pick your character and the first stage, then start praying to your magical space daddy that he shows mercy because I sure won’t,” now Noir was the one getting cocky.

Of course, Asriel choose his old main. The green, tax evading dinosaur that most people sacrifice for that one extra jump needed to cross that one gap.

“Seriously? That one?” Noir raised an eyebrow at Asriel’s choice, as he picked his own character. Blue haired sword guy.

“I always used that character back when I was a child. I loved that character, maybe a little too much,” Asriel looked off to the side with a sheepish smile, which worried Noir just a little bit. No, back then Asriel was too young to think like that.

With character and stage chooses, the game began. Only one minute in, and Asriel was already loosing his confidence. Noir was right, he was all bark and no bite. After years of not playing ultimate smashing fighters, Asriel was completely out of practice. Noir on the other hand, had seemingly spend the past days polishing his skills. Needless to say, Asriel got his ass served to him on a silver platter. Even after numerous rematches, the furthest Asriel ever got was depleting two out of the five lives each player had. 

“Remember when I said I was going to mop the floor with you?” Asriel looked over to the human, about to recall something stupid he said not too long ago. “And the thing you said back when I woke up in your bed?”

“I’d be concerned if I wouldn’t,” Noir replied with a humoring grin.

“Yeah, nevermind that. You just fucked me harder than anyone ever did in this game,” the caprine inelegantly admitted defeat.

“C’mon now, I only fucked your ego, nothing else,” the human replied as an almost devilish smile spread on his face. “Though seeing that you are so concerned about your grades, how about I show you that getting a ‘D’ can be fun. You already took me out for dinner, or rather lunch, so you get first dibs on me.”

Asriel’s brain short-circuited and the dial-up sound coming from his head as he processed what Noir said was almost audible. Was it a threat or an invitation? A joke or a serious offer? Did Noir seriously suggest to spend their first together?

“You should really see your face right now, like a deer in headlights,” the human joked with a jolly expression, trying his hardest to hold back his laughter.

After some more thinking, Asriel finally came up with, what he thought would be the perfect comeback. So he took a deep breath and looked at Noir with a cheeky smile, voice almost overconfident: “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Noir, seemingly unaffected by what Asriel said, decided to play along and moved a lot closer to Asriel, resting his head on the caprine’s shoulder. It was at this moment Asriel knew, he fucked up.

“Oh, I’d love to spend the night with sober you. Just think about how much fun we could have. The perfect opportunity to really get know each other. But there’s one tiny problem,” much to the goat’s dismay, Noir completely turned his ill-considered words against him. “We’re both visiting home tomorrow. I don’t think it’s in anyone’s interest that we come home after a long night with little to no sleep.”

“Wait, what?” befuddled, Asriel took a look out the window and quickly realized that it was already getting dark outside. “Geez, I really need to go. I still have some packing up to do.”

“Yeah, I do too,” Noir nodded in response. “Well, guess I’ll see you in a week.”

“I guess so,” the monster replied, still feeling rather awkward about what just happened. “Take care.”

“You too,” the human replied with a caring smile as he followed Asriel to the door.

Just before Asriel left he gave his friend a quick hug as a goodbye, actually surprising Noir. Before he even fully realized what happened, Asriel was already back in his dorm again.

“There you are, you’ve been gone the whole day,” Asriel’s roommate was quick as always, greeting him. “Whoever it is your hanging out with lately, you must really like ‘em.” 

“I guess you’re not entirely wrong. We’ve only met about a week ago, but it turns out Noir’s a great friend,” Asriel replied as he pulled his bag out of the closet.

“Wait, did you just say Noir?” the roommate replied, sounding surprised.

“Yeah, why?” the monster returned as he began packing his bag.

“Dude, that guy’s a mystery. Most people here aren’t even sure if he actually exists or not. Some say they see him in classes, other say they occasionally see him in the library. Wait, hold on,” the roomie seemed to have realized something. “You said you met about a week ago, right? Is Noir the guy you met after the party last week?”

“Yes, though I don’t get why you’re asking,” Asriel, although slightly confused by what his roommate told him, continued packing his bag.

“Nevermind, I just love some juicy gossip. But I don’t think you’re going to tell me anything,” Asriel’s roommate decided to drop the topic before he even picked it up fully.

“You’re right about that. If you want to know more about him, you have to ask him yourself,” Asriel returned, his bag now packed with all sorts of necessities.

With that out of the way, the caprine dropped onto his bed. Lo and behold, it did feel less comfortable than Noir’s bed. As he was laying there, he contemplated on how to explain his situation to his mother. Noir didn’t help that much either. Everything he said was less helpful advice and more him, telling Asriel that his mother will love him no matter what. Maybe he does have a point. Maybe Asriel was worrying too much. In the end, only time will tell.


	4. Homecoming

Today was the day Asriel dreaded so much. It was the day he would go and visit home for a few days. 

He missed Hometown, a lot, he really did. All those memories he made and cherished so much, they all took place within the confines of the small, lovely town he called home. Even if a lot of things were pushed onto him, he still loved the town and it’s residents with all of his heart. 

And for the first time, he allowed that feeling to really settle for a while. Soon it began to feel like his insides were being twisted into a knot. It’s really been close to half a year since he left and what has his life become? He had absolutely no idea. What he did know was, that he was slowly starting to feel seriously homesick.

Perhaps it was due to how neatly organized every aspect of his life used to be. Everything at it’s time, everything at it’s place, nothing was ever out of order. Get up at 6 AM, shower, breakfast, brushing his teeth, school, homework and an hour of free time. Studying, choir practice, piano practice, training with the track team, another two hours of free time and, once the clock strikes 10 PM, it was off to bed. This was how a usual day for Asriel used to look like. A well oiled machine running perfectly smooth. Now, it felt as if someone threw a wrench in his works. He had no one to organize his life and with his grades dropping marginally, he started to feel lost and began doubting himself.

Being his own master, he absolutely hated it. Everything just seemed so chaotic that it was overwhelming. Even worse, he slowly began growing numb to it. Slowly things became bland and boring, only a few things managing to keep him interested. Even that one party he went to, the best thing that came out of it was how he met Noir the day after. Why exactly the caprine felt so drawn to the human was still a mystery to him. There just was something about Noir that made him want to be his friend. Other than that, he slowly began to retreat himself more and more.

Asriel’s train of thought came to a screeching halt when he could feel his phone buzzing in his pocket. A quick check, and he saw the message his mother send him. 

_“I’m here. Waiting for you in the parking lot.”_

The caprine gave a disheartened sigh and stood up, making his way to the door. His roommate had already left, leaving the monster all by himself. Before Asriel left the room, he gave it another, close look. Beds, desks, shelves and a wardrobe. It all just seemed so empty, so devoid of personality. It simply didn’t feel like a home. And this was supposed to be the place he’d spend the rest of the year in? As soon as he could he’d try to find a place to rent, maybe move in with some other students. Alternatively he could ask someone if they’re interested in sharing a student flat with him. 

Not wanting to make his mother wait any longer, Asriel closed the door and quickly made for the exit, dropping off the keys to his room at the office on his way outside. The parking lot was within arm’s reach, and any moment now he’d have to face his mother and all of her questions. It caused numerous, conflicting emotions to shoot into his already confused mind. He was happy to see his mother again, happy to finally see his hometown again but he was also terrified. He was terrified of disappointing his mother and it made him want to run away. And then there were all of his other, unnamed worries. Something was bothering him, and he didn’t know what it was.

Absentmindedly, Asriel continued onwards and, before he even had a chance to realize it, his mother pulled him into a hug.

“There is my handsome boy,” Toriel exclaimed cheerfully, as she let go of her son again. “How have you been? You must have a lot of stories to tell.”

Asriel, not having any stories to tell, put on the best smile he could muster and replied as cheerfully as possible: “Yeah. A lot has happened while I was away.”

“Be sure to tell me all about it,” his mother replied as she took Asriel’s luggage and placed in the trunk of her car. “Let’s go. Kris is eagerly waiting for you.”

Asriel nodded and sat down on the passenger seat. His stomach felt heavy in a way he couldn’t quite describe and it made his entire body feel tense. Just what was wrong with him? He was going to visit home, he should be happy. But it all just feels so alien, so weird, like he slipped into a false reality. Was he really coming home, or would he just visit the place he used to call home. His old life was over, he couldn’t go back to how things used to be. There was no one to hold his hand anymore. 

“So, how’s university going for you?” Asriel nearly flinched at the sound off his mother’s voice. She sounded so invested, like she was reading a thrilling book.

“It’s going alright. Had a few troubles settling in at first but everything’s good now,” the caprine replied, unsure whether he was lying or not. At first, he was fine living in one of the university dorms but now, that he’s starting to think more and more about home, things are starting to look different. Was uni really the place he belonged to?

“That’s lovely to hear,” Toriel replied, happy that Asriel got used to university life. “How about your studies?”

Asriel’s breath hitched at the mention of his grades and he started to awkwardly fiddle with his fingers. “They’re going good,” he tried to mask his anxiety by trying to sound as confident as he could.

His mother replied with a content hum, seemingly satisfied with Asriel’s answer. 

While Toriel was focused on the road ahead, Asriel stared out the window, watching the scenery pass by. It all seemed so surreal with how quickly things moved. Half a year ago, he left Hometown. And now he was on his way back, even if only for a few days. Time felt like it moved faster than ever before and it was only now that he realized just how quickly his childhood ended. His 18th birthday, it felt like it was just yesterday.

As time passed, the surroundings changed to something far more familiar. The hour long drive was coming to an end and Asriel missed most of it, the family now driving through the city close to Hometown. Just a few more minutes until Asriel would arrive home again, and he felt a weird mix of anticipation and anxiety. 

“So, did you make any new friends? Toriel asked when she came to a halt at a traffic light. “Maybe you even met a nice girl. I’m sure they’ll find someone as charming as you irresistible.”

“Well, ehm,” Asriel struggled to formulate an answer. He did meet a lot of girls, not one of them he’d consider friends though. Then there was the party and the aftermath it brought. “I did make friends with my neighbor.”

“That’s wonderful. What’s her name?” his mother continued was eager to hear all about the friendships her son made.

“It’s Noir, but...” the freshman began in a half-whisper, but was quickly cut off by his chatty mother.

“Noir? That’s a rather odd name. But it does have something elegant to it,” Toriel interrupted in cheerful tone, completely oblivious to the fact her son wasn’t done talking. “I’m sure she’s beautiful girl.”

“Mom,” Asriel called out somewhat awkward tone, causing his mother to hold any further words she might say. “Noir is not a girl. And no, I don’t like him that way. He’s just became a good friend of mine.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry about that,” the now slightly embarrassed mother corrected herself. “How have you met?”

That was probably that one question Asriel really didn’t want to answer, seeing just how embarrassing that entire ordeal was. “Uhm, that, yeah. Please don’t rip my head off for this.”

“Why would I do that? I’m your mother. I’m here to set your head straight, not rip it off,” Toriel joked, chuckling to herself ever so slightly.

“Here goes,” Asriel sighed, feeling how anxiety began to build up within him. “It was after a party. It was my first time drinking and I may have had a bit too much. I kind of ended up in his room and, once I woke up, he helped me with the aftermath of everything,” the caprine could feel his entire body heat up, heart racing a thousand miles an hour as he feared his mother might get the wrong idea. “I promise, we didn’t have sex or anything. I kind of just, crashed at his place and fell asleep in his bed. Nothing, absolutely nothing sexual happened that night,” the nervous monster continued without even thinking, not realizing that he was digging his own grave.

“What kind of person is Noir?” Toriel asked, curious about Asriel’s new friend. And Asriel could feel how his heart lost it’s rhythm, breathing coming to an almost complete stop after one last, sharp exhale. Did she think Asriel was lying about the sexual aspect? She had every reason do doubt him after what spilled out of his mouth.

“Well, he’s a really kind and caring person. Disciplined, a great listener and picked me up when I was feeling a little down. But he’s also a bit scary,” Asriel stated, declaring how he valued Noir as a friend. “Seriously, he can read me like a book even without looking at me, and it’s unsettling.”

“Do you think he could become more than just a friend?” this seemingly was a topic Toriel just loved to explore further. 

“Well, I uhm, I, really, uhm,” Asriel began stumbling over his words, unable to articulate a proper response. He was simply spewing out nonsense and chopped bits that made no sense to anyone, including himself. Whether Noir could be more than just a friend was something he never really thought about. 

“We’re home,” Toriel announced as the car came to a stop, further baffling her already confused son. He didn’t realize just how quickly the ride passed. 

With a sight of relief, Asriel allowed himself to relax for a second. A look out the window revealing the familiar scenery he grew up with. Nothing has changed. The house, the neighborhood, everything was just the way it was before he left. It was, in a way, reassuring to see that things were still the way he remembered.

“You haven’t answered my question,” the mother reminded in an almost teasing tone.

“I don’t know,” Asriel replied, hoping it would give him a moment to rest his tensed up body. “He’s been giving me some mixed messages last time we hung out. I’m not sure if he’s actually being serious or just pulling my leg. I don’t even know if I’m into guys.”

Toriel firmly placed her hand on her son’s shoulder and gave him a reaffirming smile, easing his tension. “Why don’t we go inside. Kris has a surprise for you.”

A surprise, for him? By no other thank his sibling? Now Asriel found himself curious and slightly worried. He knew that Kris’s surprises often turned out quite disastrous for them and everyone around.

Eager to see his sibling again, Asriel stepped out of the car while his mother grabbed his luggage from the trunk. Another deep breath, and the freshman found himself standing in front of his doorstep. Any second now he’d step inside his home, where he’d be greeted by who knows what. And he couldn’t help but ask himself how much has changed, if anything changed at all.

With a sense of pleasant anticipation, Asriel opened the door and his heart nearly exploded right out of his chest. Inside, he was promptly met with a huge welcoming party complete with balloons, confetti and a huge banner. Father Alvin brought plenty of the fruit juice everybody in town seemed to love, Toriel made several pies before her departure, each big enough to feed the entire town and Catty was dancing inappropriately in some corner of the living room. Upon Toriel’s request, she was quickly escorted off the property by Undyne. She wasn’t even supposed to be here in the first place.

Everyone that had ever been a part of his life was there. Well, almost everyone was there. The only person missing was his father, who was excluded from the party. In fact, Toriel send him a letter that explicitly stated the he was not invited to the surprise party and if he showed up, he’d spent the day behind bars. It was disheartening, but Asriel would definitely visit him tomorrow.

Amidst the sound of guests, welcoming back their favorite goat boy, Asriel completely overheard the sound of footsteps quickly running towards him. He nearly shrieked the moment a pair or arms wrapped themselves around his body, a head quickly resting against his chest.

“Kris,” Asriel called out in an elated voice as he pulled his sibling into a hug. “It’s so good to see you again.”

Kris had always admired their brother, looking up to him, idolizing him even. And yet there was a part inside that loathed Asriel, that one part that was tired of always standing in the shadow of their much more successful, much more popular brother. He got all the attention, all the praise, all the fame and prestige. And Kris? They were the weird, creepy kid everyone tends to avoid. The way Kris viewed their sibling was almost paradoxical in nature.

The two siblings shared a happy moment of reunion. Much unlike Asriel, the human rarely ever wore their heart on their sleeve. Always keeping what bothered them to themself, never telling a single soul about it. Not because they didn’t want to tell anyone, but rather because they felt like they never had anyone to talk to.

“How have you been? How’s school going for you? Did you make any friends while I was gone?” the caprine began to bombard his sibling with questions. He knew it was a little pushy of him, but he was simply too worried about them. He only wanted what was best for Kris. In next few days he’d spent at home, he’ll spent as much time with them as possible. To show that he cared and to prove to Kris, and to himself, that he was a good brother.

“That your brother?” a snarky, almost growling voice spoke, immediately catching Asriel’s attention. When he looked up, he was shocked by who he saw. It was no other than the meanest girl in town. Susie, the purple, not so friendly reptilian approached the now slightly terrified caprine.

“Howdy,” Asriel bleated in a rather scared tone as he held out his hand. He didn’t really feel like loosing his face today. It might sound a little narcissistic of him, but he thought his face was rather pretty.

“Yeah, hi,” Susie’s reply came out as rather disinterested, nothing too unexpected. “So, you’re Kris’s brother?”

“Y- yeah, that’s me,” the scared monster replied, thoroughly unsettled by the reptilian’s presence. He heard the tales of Susie and the things she did in school. Was this the surprise Kris’s had planned? It’s unlikely they planned the party, so maybe they wanted to introduce their brother to the friends they made. But why Susie out of all people? Out of everyone in hometown, she’s the one who’ll most likely end up in jail. Unless, of course, hometown is swayed by a scandal of biblical proportions. 

“So, ehm, are you a friend of Kris?” the caprine hesitantly inquired, fully aware that Susie cared very little for the feelings of other people. At least from what he knew.

“Yeah, that a problem?” she replied in her usually snarky, almost hostile tone, ignoring the fact Asriel was waiting for a handshake. 

“N- n- n- n- no, not at all,” Asriel stuttered. Despite the fact he was older and rather in shape, he still felt intimidated by the purple reptile. 

Susie replied with a simple, evil laugh that sounded almost too natural. “I’m not going to bite your face off. Whole town loves you, ‘d be a shame if they had to bury you. Besides, Kris cares about you.”

“I appreciate it,” the caprine meekly replied. He was quite aware of the fact that Susie wouldn’t hesitate to use violence. “If you’d excuse me.”

Somehow surviving the encounter with Susie, Asriel decided to mingle with the guest of his little party. They were all eager to listen to his stories, to hear about his successes and how easily he managed to pass all of his tests and exams. He tip-toed around that topic, careful not to tell more than necessary while telling enough to satisfy the town’s curiosity. Being put on the spotlight like that, especially after several months of absence, made him aware just how much the town admired him. 

Once the more uncomfortable topics passed, Asriel was bombarded with the next set of questions. Did he join the sports team? Did he join any other clubs? Did he make any new friends? How about a part time job? Yes, Asriel did join the sports club, but that club was simply for fun. No tournaments or anything. Just a bunch of guys and girls being active. Ye, he did make a friend. No, he didn’t have a part-time job.

So the day passed with lots of talking, fruit juice and pie. Asriel told every single of his university stories, well, almost all. What he didn’t tell was the story about the party and it’s aftermath, fearing that it could harm his reputation. His mother might believe him if he says nothing sexual happened, but the rest of town? At least some of them are bound to believe he had a one-night stand with another guy. And seeing that hometown is quite the religious place, things would probably turn sour. 

It was dark outside by the time everyone had left. The moon was shining it’s silver light over the peaceful town as gray clouds drifted across the sky above. A decade ago, Asriel would often spend the last minutes he was awake just staring out the window, past his reflection and into the darkness outside. He’d watch the world outside as stars twinkled above. It reminded him of his childhood, when the first snow started to fall and the ground began to sparkle beautifully. How much he longed for those simpler days. Even now, he found himself sitting by the window and simply watching the world as he got lost in his own thoughts.

So much has happened in his life, so much has changed. From the day Kris first arrived to the day Asriel left for university. It scared him out of his mind, made him feel helpless, gave him the feeling as if life just rushed past him. Just where did all the time go? Those lush summer nights where he’d sit on his bed and listen to the crickets outside felt as if they were just last week. Those feelings only grew stronger when he went to his old room.

His half of the room was still the way it was when he left. Pristine, glamorous, a museum filled with artifacts telling stories of great success. And Asriel simply stared. All the trophies, medals and awards, shining in their golden, lustrous shimmer. Spelling bees, cross-country running, top of the class and more. All those awards, all the praise he got, all those testaments to his success. He hated it, all of it. The more he looked, the more he began to hate it. 

What were all of these awards good for anyway? They only drove a wedge between him and his sibling. They made Asriel unapproachable to the one person he was supposed to be there for. Like he was the unreachable epitome of perfection. He could feel how it made the corners of his lips twist into a jagged expression of anger. But this wasn’t the time for an angry outburst. After all those years Asriel still felt as if he had to be a good role model for Kris. So instead, he decided to try and fall asleep in the old bed he barely fit in anymore, feet sticking out from underneath the blanket. Even after several months, he could still feel where he used to lie all the time and promptly sank into the mold he carved into the mattress over the course of several years. 

But he couldn’t find any rest. He was sharing a room with Kris again, something he so desperately missed. And yet, even though he was back home, something felt simply wrong. 

Wide awake, he stared at the ceiling adorned with the phosphorescent stars that have been there for as long as he could remember. Everything just felt off, wrong, warped into a false reality. But why? Nothing has changed, everything was still the way he remembered. So why did he feel this way? And then, there was something entirely else that burdened his heart.

“Kris?” Asriel spoke in a quiet voice as turned his head towards his sibling. “Are you still awake?”

He waited for a moment, listening carefully to the shuffling sound sound that came from the human’s direction. They turned to their side, waving at Asriel.

“Can I ask you something?” the monster continued, his voice starting to crumble like a dry leafs.

Kris sat up, the nod they gave in response barely visible in what little moonlight entered the room.

Asriel sat up and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his trembling nerves. He was scared, scared of the answer he might get to the question that burned on his mind. But he had to ask, he needed to know how Kris felt about him. So he opened his mouth, whispering in a shaky voice as tears already began to from in his eyes: “Have I been a bad brother?”

Silence.

There was no reply at first. Even the moments after were silent. All that could be heard was the sound of deafening silence.

After an unbearable eternity of almost deathly quietness, the shuffling of footsteps began to fill the room. And they fell silent again, just as quickly as they emerged. Kris was now standing by Asriel’s bed.

“No,” they spoke in their rarely used voice, nearly causing Asriel’s heart to stop dead in it’s tracks. “You were the best brother you could possibly be.”

Asriel could only look at his sibling as if they just revealed the most unholy truths of the universe to him. Not only that, but they actually spoke, something they hardly ever did. He simply gave them a hug, trying to hold back the tears that were forming in his eyes. Kris said it, he wasn’t a bad brother. One of his biggest fears, one of the weights that burdened down his heart, was taken off him. 

As the moment passed, Asriel calmed down again, soon after letting go of Kris again. They quickly scurried back into their bed.

“Good night, Kris,” the caprine spoke, his voice still shaking ever so slightly. “And thanks. I was really worried I failed as a brother.”

With a sense of relief, Asriel rolled onto his back again, pulling the velvety blanket up to his chin. But even though he felt as if a weight has been taken off his shoulders, there was still enough noise shooting through his mind to keep him from an easy slumber. He was still worried about Kris. They seemingly made a friend, but he wasn’t sure if Susie’s the type of friend they should be around. And what about their grades and their social life? The people in town still saw them as that one creepy kid. 

And then he had all of his own worries clouding his mind. Once those few days of respite have passed and he returned to university, life would continue. Back into the chaotic life he still couldn’t quite handle. Things would only get worse once he reaches his second year.

Asriel felt as if he was worrying too much, but how wasn’t he supposed to? His family meant the world to him, and seeing how the relationship between his parents turned out broke his heart. Kris was still an outcast, and Asriel’s university life wasn’t all sunshine and roses either. He couldn’t change any of that today though. All that’s left to do, was try to get some sleep.


	5. Hometown

A new day rolled over the horizon and the caprine woke up to the familiar surroundings of his beloved home and sight of his still fast asleep sibling. He had a lot planned for the day, visiting his father, spending time with Kris and generally just enjoy being back at the place his heart resided. 

But was that really true? Was hometown the place where his heart was, or is that what he kept telling himself? What is the reason home simply didn’t feel like home anymore? Asriel shook his head, hoping that it would help him shake off those thoughts. 

The morning was still fresh, much unlike Asriel, who decided to change that fact with a nice, hot shower. At university he hardly ever got the chance to enjoy a luxury like that. He was either too stressed out because of studies, exams, tests or papers due in a few day or it was his roommate that was in need of the bathroom. So he only ever got the chance for a quick shower.

Without any further hesitation, he moved to the drawer and checked it’s contents. There wasn’t all that much in there. An old and torn cross country club shirt from back when he used to do cross country running, his old high school photo ID with an embarrassing haircut he’d rather forget about, and a booklet filled with expired pizza coupons. Seeing that his drawer lacked most of it’s content made him remember that his clothes were probably still packed tightly in his bags, which were should still sitting downstairs. 

Yearning for a hot shower, Asriel put on just enough of the clothes he wore yesterday so he wouldn’t be walking around in his boxers. Sure, it probably was only his mother sitting downstairs and he wouldn’t have cared if she saw him like that about ten years ago, but things were different now. 

Despite Asriel already scurrying about in his shared room, Kris somehow managed to stay asleep. And Asriel couldn’t really help but take a good look at his sleeping sibling. They seemed so peaceful and innocent at moments like this, as if they were nothing more than an ordinary teen going through the horrors of life and high school. Yet the monster’s expression drooped. He was still worried about Kris, worried that something terrible might happen, that they go down a road where there is no coming back from. But he was also glad. They managed to make a friend, even if said friend was Susie. It almost seemed as if Kris’s life was slowly taking a turn for the better. 

Muffling the sigh that passed through his lips, he began to carefully tip-toe out the door and down the stairs.

“Good morning Asriel,” his mother greeted him with a smile.

“Morning, mom,” he smiled at his mother as he walked down the last steps and into the living room.

Toriel began to chuckle as she saw her son’s exposed upper body. “Are you sure you can impress your future love like that?” she spoke in jest, referring to the fact Asriel, despite having been an active member of the cross-country club, didn’t quite look like it.

“Mom, please, I’m still trying to figure things out for myself.” appearing a little hurt by his mother’s innocent remark, he looked off to the side. “Besides, it’s my fur that makes me look like that.”

“Oh? I’m sorry. I was just trying to make a little joke,” a sense of guilt washed over her, once she saw how sensitive Asriel seemed to be about this topic. “I just...”

“Mom, can we talk about this later, please? I really want to take a shower,” Asriel carefully interrupted his mother.

“Of course,” Toriel gave a nod in reply and pointed towards where Asriel’s bags were located. “Your bags are over there. I’ve been so free and sorted out your dirty clothes.”

Still feeling rather awkward, Asriel began to search through his bag for fresh clothes, which he eventually found.

“Thanks, mom,” with a shaky smile, he thanked his mother and quickly disappeared into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind him.

His mother watched as he entered the bathroom, a conflicting mixture of emotions brewing up inside her. Since his return Asriel acted different, aloof almost. But that wasn’t all that concerned her. There also was the fact that he mentioned he might be developing feelings for another boy. It caused a clash inside her, a battle between her moral believes and her duties as a mother. 

Her morals, shaped by religious doctrine, forbade the love between two boys. Her duties as a mother, however, dictated that she should do everything within her power to make sure Asriel will be able to live a happy life. 

And that’s the crux of the matter.

What if being with another boy is what makes Asriel happy? But according to her beliefs, a romantic or even sexual relationship was exclusively for man and woman. It was sinful for Asriel to love another man and a path that would ultimately lead him to live an unhappy life. 

Was she too narrow minded? Did her religion and the size of this town limit her horizon to only what is in front of her?

She, frankly put, didn’t know what to do. Especially since Asriel wasn’t even sure himself. Maybe, it was just a phase to test his faith. That must be it, a test to see if her son will stay on the right path. And if he’s lead astray, she will be there to lead him back to the right path. 

Inside the bathroom Asriel placed his fresh clothes on the toilet lid and began to strip out of what he was currently wearing. The shower was the perfect place to think, to reflect and of course, to get cleaned up. With his clothes in place, and dirty clothes in the laundry basket, he turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature. He probably should have done that sooner since he now had to wait for the hot water to come. And maybe, just maybe, he should have also drawn the curtains close, because right now curious passersby were perfectly able to admire him in his fully unclad beauty. Realizing that, he quickly made sure that no curious eyes could peer into the bath and see what wasn’t meant for them to see.

Once the water has reached the desired temperature, Asriel entered the shower and closed the curtain. Finally, he had the chance to enjoy a nice, hot shower without having to worry about his studies. So he stood there, soaking up the hot water, ignoring how his fur began to feel heavy and wet. And he began thinking as he listened to the sound of running water. 

Why does he feel the way he does? Why does home no longer feel like home? Nothing has change, everything is the way he remembered, so what was it that made him feel this way? It almost felt as if he was lying to himself, trying to forcefully believe something he knew wasn’t true.

Feeling how frustration began to well up inside him, he slammed his hand against the shower wall with an audible, wet smack. Why, why couldn’t he understand his own feelings? He loves his home, the town it was located in and all of it’s residents and yet something made him feel so god damn confused. Everyone he cared about was nearby, and whenever he was at university, they were just one call away. So it can’t be that he’s just missing home.

And then, there’s Noir. It wasn’t until the day he met him that he started to feel the way he does now. Like there’s something missing from his life. The human was seemingly the catalyst that created those thoughts that were swarming and clouding Asriel’s head. It almost seemed like Noir opened his eyes to a whole new world, a world he simply could not recognize. 

Asriel exhaled sharply, his hand still against the wall, his weight pushing against it. He still couldn’t comprehend why he felt the way he does. With all that time spend in Hometown, he was sure he’d spend his entire life here. Find love, get married, have a child or two and live happily until the day he dies. But if that was the live he always envisioned for himself, then why did he apply for university? He wasn’t quite sure himself. It was like he made that decision out on a whim. Sometimes, he felt as if he wasn’t thinking his decisions through. 

Slowly, Asriel began to feel like he has been soaking up for long enough and decided to get to the actual cleaning part. He used a generous amount of shampoo, and began to message it into his ivory fur. All the while, his thoughts drifted back and forth, until they eventually landed back on Noir again, or rather how the caprine felt about him. It was another one of those things he could not explain no matter how hard he tried. 

Asriel did feel a certain connection to him, but he had no idea what type of connection it actually was. From the very first time they met, Noir treated him like a friend even though he knew nothing about Asriel. From the way he talked to the caprine, to how he helped him out. He listened to Asriel’s worries, helped him out with the aftermath of his hangover and was overall just easy to talk to. But is that all? Was he really just a friend, or could he, eventually, become something more? No matter how hard Asriel thought about it, he still couldn’t tell where he’d put Noir. Not even his body would give him an answer.

He sighed once more and rinsed off the shampoo he massaged into his fur. Once he was fully sure there was no shampoo residue left, he grabbed a towel while stepping out of the shower and beginning the process of drying himself off. There were still more questions that answers, but for now he’d leave it at just that. 

Once dry, he moved on to what is probably the most annoying part. Brushing his fur, which always took ages. If he only had someone in his life that was willing to help him with that, especially those hard to reach places. Alas, he was single and didn’t even know what exactly he was attracted to. So he had to brush his fur all by himself and bend his body in the most unholy ways to reach the more difficult places.

Another 30 minutes later, and his snow white fur was soft, silky smooth and completely free of knots and loose strands of dead hair. Once he had his clothes on, he marched out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, where he was quickly greeted by a variety of fragrances. His mother has seemingly prepared breakfast while he was under the shower, which made him question. How long was he in the bathroom? A quick glance at his phone revealed that he was gone for about 2 hours. 

“Ah, your done,” Asriel jumped slightly at the sound of his mother’s voice coming from behind him. A soft chuckle quickly followed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” even though his heart was still going a little faster than it should, Asriel managed to calm himself down rather quickly. “Where is Kris? Are they still sleeping?”

“They should come downstairs any moment now,” Toriel replied in her motherly tone, the corners of her lips curling into a gentle smile. “We can enjoy breakfast like a real family again.”

Family... That word caused Asriel to pause for a moment and think. Kris, his mother and he himself, they were all family. But what about his father? He was almost completely ostracized from the family, but Asriel still saw him as his one and only dad. Could his family really be complete without him? Sure, Asgore was really bad with money, but he was still a kind and generous man that deeply cares for those he considered family. 

“Yeah,” Asriel spoke up again after a rather lengthy pause, his voice hesitant and slightly disheartened. “That sounds nice.”

“Wonderful,” his mother happily exclaimed as she clapped her hands together. “Take a seat, I’ll take care of the rest in the meantime.”

As Asriel sat down at his usual spot, Kris came strolling down the stairs, their expression unreadable since their eyes were covered by their hair.

“Morning Kris,” Asriel shot his sibling a brotherly smile.

They seemingly mouthed a ‘good morning’ in return as they plopped down on the seat opposite of Asriel.

With everyone seated, Toriel grabbed everything she made for breakfast and placed the still sizzling pans on the table. Bacon, eggs, sausages and all the other stuff that is bound to sooner or later clog every artery in the body. In addition to that, a pot of black coffee large enough to keep a grown man running for 7 days straight before his heart inevitably explodes. 

“There we go. Enjoy,” Toriel spoke in a cheerful tone, a big smile on her face.

Feeling a little hungry, Asriel placed a little bit of everything on his plate. He was looking forward this but he still couldn’t quite enjoy this moment. Everything felt so familiar that it began to feel off, wrong even. A lovely, home-cooked breakfast would normally bring a big smile to his face but his time this time it just felt boring. 

“So, to pick up where we left off,” Toriel, after giving her son time to eat, began talking in a tone of faux innocence that masked her intent. She wanted to find out more about her son’s feelings for the human. “Do you think Noir could be more that just a friend?”

“Mom,” Asriel tried to protest, but gave up and sighed. There was no way around this. “I honestly don’t know. I’ve always thought I’d spend all my life in this town, get married to a nice girl and start my own family. Then I met Noir and everything kind of collapsed on me,” with a somewhat dejected expression, Asriel looked down at his plate. “I’m still trying to figure this thing out for me, whether I see him as more than a friend or not.”

Toriel was left with a gut wrenching feeling at the sight of Asriel’s internal conflict. His uncertainty made him look so vulnerable, but Toriel knew her son could work through it. But what if someone would prey on his current state of vulnerability? She feared that someone would do just that. 

On the other hand, it seems as if Asriel puts a great deal of trust in Noir. She hardly knew anything about the human but if Asriel can trust him, then maybe she can too.

Again, the conflict of motherly duties and moral beliefs began to arise. She wanted the best for Asriel, and seeing him this confused hurt her. Perhaps the human would end up helping Asriel to clear his confusion, even if it meant…

Toriel paused and her expression froze. She simply could not picture her son with another boy, it went against all she considered right and virtuous. It was narrow minded of her, she knew that. But this was what she was taught and it was what she taught Asriel. She never expected to be in a situation like this.

Of course those changes in Toriel’s expression didn’t go unnoticed and a twisting feeling of alienation spread through Asriel’s stomach. He didn’t even know what his preferences were, if he even had any. All he does know is that his mother and everything she taught him would be against him if he does end up in a relationship with Noir, or any other boy. 

And he hated it. It was just one out of many reasons he tried to discard his religious beliefs. It worked for the most part, but some parts were so deeply ingrained into his mind that it become difficult to just look past them.

But there was even more to it. Ever since she picked him up he seemed kind of, disconnected. It was like he wasn’t quite there, like his thoughts were all over the place. He didn’t talk much. Instead he just stared out the window and watched the scenery pass by as Toriel drove him back to hometown.

It was the exact opposite when she first drove him to campus. He was giddy and excited, going on and on about what life on campus might be like, all the friends to make, all those parties to go to. He went out into the big world with a ton of enthusiasm, but might’ve been a little starry-eyed.

And she slowly began to feel like she understood why. Asriel got a taste of the life outside of Hometown, caught a glimpse of the big world. He was slowly becoming ready to move on and live his own life. But in his current state, Toriel simply could not allow for Asriel to move on. Not unless he’s certain where to go.

All the while, Kris sat there in confusion. What where Asriel and Toriel talking about and what’s with those long faces? Did they miss out on something? Who was Noir and why did the air around them feel so tense? All that was clear is that Asriel was clearly a bit distressed. And to Kris, that settled it. It was time to repay Asriel for the kindness he always. The second they got the chance, Kris would introduce him to their new friends.

“Well,” Asriel spoke up, cutting through the thick veil of silence and pushing his now empty plate away from him. “I’m going to visit dad.”

With that Asriel got up from the table and left the house, leaving his troubled mother and confused sibling behind. 

Outside, he was quickly greeted by the fresh, autumn air. The sun was slowly becoming weaker, but Asriel’s fur gave him enough protection from the cold. In addition to that, Asriel’s sweater protected him from the occasional breeze that danced through the air. 

He took a good look around. The cerulean sky was slightly clouded, and every now and then he could spot birds migrating southwards. The leafs of the surrounding forest have already turned to shades of red, orange and yellow, painting a scenery that captured the essence of fall. Occasionally, he could spot the first few Halloween decorations.

His father’s shop wasn’t that far away from home, a five minute walk at most. In those five minutes, he continued to let his eyes wander around town. It was probably around 8 in the morning and most of Hometown's few residents were up. Some were going for a walk, others picked up the newspaper and yet others were preparing for work. Most children were already in school, or on their way there. And for the first time, he felt out of place. 

Of course everyone would smile and wave at him, those walking past him even greeted him verbally, but it felt so different from how it used to. The once so vibrant and colorful town has lost it’s luster and started to turn gray. At least in Asriel’s eyes.

University was different. Everything was so new and exciting and it so easily became overwhelming. All those new people to meet, so many things to do. It was like a whole new world to explore. But with it came numerous new responsibilities and burdens. And on top of all, the agony of choice. No longer were things planned out for him. There was no one that would hold his hand. He was his own master now.

He felt more than just a little confused by his contradicting emotions. He loved his hometown, but it no longer felt like home. He enjoyed going to university, but all the burdens and responsibilities felt as if they were a little too much too carry sometimes. What did he really want? Live his own live while someone is holding his hand? Stay confined to a place that felt stale? Drift along while life keeps going? He did not know.

Lost in his own world, he almost walked past his father’s flower shop and only stopped once he found himself approaching the path that lead to the local lake. He took a deep breath in preparation of what would come next. It’s been half a year since he last saw his dad and he didn’t even know what to talk about.

Another deep breath and he pushed the door open, a mixture of flowery scents entering his nostrils as the ringing sound of the small bell announced his arrival.

“Welcome to the Flower King, how can I...” the gentle giant rose up from what he was doing and spoke in the warm and welcoming tone he’d greet all his customers with. But he quickly fell silent once he spotted his son and a huge smile graced his bearded face. 

“Hi... Dad,” feeling almost anxious, Asriel looked more like a deer in headlights than a son reuniting with his father. 

He didn’t get the chance to say something else, his father had already wrapped him in the biggest bear hug Hometown has ever seen.

“Dad. Air. Please,” the teen managed to squeak out as the air was squeezed out of him.

Asgore instantly loosened his grip, a guilty expression spreading across his face. “I’m so sorry. I’m just so glad you decided to visit your old man.”

“It’s alright, I’m alright,” still panting, Asriel managed to flash a smile as he his lungs were filled with air again.“

“Would you like a cup of tea? I think I might even have some leftover cake in the fridge,” even though he was unprepared and overwhelmed by his son’s spontaneous visit, Asgore tried to be as hospitable as his situation allowed him to be. He honestly didn’t expect his son to show up.

Asriel didn’t want to upset his father by rejecting his generosity and smiled. “Sure, I’d love to.”

“Of course,” Asgore seemed delighted at Asriel’s reply. “I’ll be right back.”

Without further ado, the fatherly caprine disappeared upstairs to prepare the tea. And Asriel was left alone downstairs. Not that that was a problem. He used to spend a lot of time helping his father out with the flowers. If a customer came in and required assistance, he should be able to help them without problems. And even if he couldn’t, his father was just upstairs.

As he waited for his father to return, Asriel took a good look at all those flowers Asgore was supposed to be selling. Every single one of them, from primroses to orchids, was overflowing with live and vigor. Asgore clearly took great care of those flowers. 

It was his passion, one that is often underestimated in it’s complexity. Every kind of flower required its own, special type of care. Floriculture was a craft that requires a lot of love, care and patience. Asriel still couldn’t quite comprehend why Toriel actually divorced him, it was simply too long ago. Or maybe he does remember and his brain tries to shield him from that memory.

Regardless of what might be the case, his father had a heart too big for his chest. He could easily sell his flowers at premium prices, but more often than not, he decides to simply give them away. It was an irresponsible waste of money he didn’t have, but that was simply the way he was.

And Asriel simply smiled, tears beading in his emerald eyes. Why, why did he feel like this all of a sudden? What was that stinging feeling in his SOUL?

He quickly wiped the tears out of his eyes and returned his attention towards the stairs once he heard his father come down again. Asgore was carrying a small tray, complete two saucers, cups of tea and some pie, placing all of it on the counter. 

“I’m sorry it took so long,” he apologized to his son. “Please, make yourself at home.”

With a soft smile on his face, Asriel grabbed one of the plates. The pie was nothing too special, just something simple one can buy at the local grocery store. But it did make this moment all the more pleasant. As for the tea, it was his father’s favorite. 

Asgore took a sip from his steaming cup, his eyes fixed on his son with a gentle expression. “So, how’s your university life going?” he inquired in a calm voice.

“Well,” the teen began, feeling a certain sense of safety he lacked when around his mother. He felt as if he could be a little more open about his uni life around his father. “A lot's been going on. So much in fact, I don’t even know where to start.”

“Take your time,” the father reaffirmed. He wasn’t expecting any business any time soon and even if he did, his son was his priority right now.

“I guess it all started when I first started meeting new people. For some reason I still can’t understand, I’m rather popular. That’s not really a bad thing though, but it makes me pretty nervous sometimes. People always walk up to me, striking up conversations and even trying to flirt with me,” Asriel began venting about his life, sharing his frustrations and insecurities. 

“Is that a problem though? I think the whole town can agree that you are very likable. You have a kind soul, care about others and your family and are immensely talented. You see everyone for who they are and approach them without prejudice. On top of that, you're quite charismatic. Of course you’d naturally attract people,” and there he went off again, praising his son to the skies. 

“Dad, C’mon. I’m not THAT great,” flushing red from all the praise, Asriel turned defensive.

“But it’s true. You’re the whole town’s pride and joy. Just look at everything you have accomplished, and all that while you were so young. I can not put into words how proud I am of you,” as if the astronomical amount of praise wasn’t enough already, now Asgore was seemingly starting to shed tears of joy. “Of course all those new faces you’d meet at university would be eager to get to know you.”

In an attempt to calm his nerves Asriel took a sip from his own cup of tea, savoring it’s citrusy taste.

After expelling the hot air, he spoke up again in a slightly frustrated tone: “That’s the problem. I feel like they only talk to me BECAUSE I’m popular. Everyone keeps inviting me to parties, but no one ever seems to ask how I am. Everything just feels so impersonal. And don’t get me started on all the flirting. They’re all just trying to get in my pants. It feels as if sex is all they want. I usually enjoy meeting new people, but this wasn’t what I expected.“

Asgore’s expression turned into concern as he took in his son’s words. While he was trying to come up with something encouraging to say, Asriel took the first bite out of his slice of pie, washing it down with another sip of tea. The cake tasted stale, like it spend the past few days lying open in the fridge.

After another moment of thinking, Asgore came up with the next topic to talk about. “What about your studies? Are they going alright?” he asked, sounding eager to hear about Asriel’s successes.

“I manage,” Asriel’s reply sounded less than confident, his expression dropping slightly. “It’s mostly B’s and every once in a while a C+.”

Asgore gave his son a pat on the shoulder and a reassuring smile. “That’s alright. You just finished your first semester. It’s completely normal for your grades to drop during that time.”

Asriel looked up again, his expression ever so slightly disheartened as he spoke in a voice that lacked confidence: “Funny you’d say. Noir said something quite similar to that.”

His father raised an eyebrow when Asriel not only mentioned a name, but also something associated to it.

“Noir?” he repeated, asking for confirmation.

“Yeah. He’s one of the few people I met that I’d consider a friend. And, well...” Asriel stopped mid-sentence, uncertain how he was supposed to finish it.

Of course his father quickly picked up on it and decided to pry a little further.

“So, is there something special about this Noir person?” he asked with curiosity.

Asriel let his shoulders droop and sighed. An almost troubled expression spread across his face as he began talking with now clear uncertainty in his voice: “I really don’t know. He’s really nice, but it often feels like he can see right through me. I’m glad I got to meet him, but ever since then I’ve started to feel... weird? If that’s the right way to put it.”

Asgore’s expression went through numerous changes in quick succession. Confusion, realization, surprise, then back to confusion only to then return back to realization. A major reason for those quick shifts was how Asriel referred to Noir as he.

“So, are you saying that you might feel attracted to other boys?” this was a situation Asgore never expected to be in, and he had no idea how to properly talk about this topic.

“What? I, uhm,” that question caught Asriel off-guard, and he began stammering awkwardly. “That honestly wasn’t what I had in mind when I said that. Things just began to feel different after I met him. Like, I love Hometown and all of it’s people but now it’s just feels different from how it used to.”

“Oh, I see,” and now Asgore was starting to feel like he completely jumped the gun with his assumption.

“But, you’re not entirely wrong. Actually, I kind of talked to mom about this already,” the caprine teen continued, once again surprising his father. “I always thought I’d spent my entire life here in this town. Getting married and all that. And now I’m just confused. I don’t even know why I feel the way I do. It’s like meeting Noir changed something inside of me.”

“You talked to Toriel about this?” the fancy tea cup Asgore used for this occasion nearly hit the floor. He was shocked that Asriel would bring this matter up around Toriel. “You know how overly religious she is.”

“Yeah, I do. She’s been calm about this so far. Troubled, but calm. Though I’m honestly scared of how she...” Asriel was cut off in the middle of his sentence by the sound of the bell that signaled the arrival of a potential customer.

The first two people that entered Asgore’s little flower shop were completely foreign to Asriel. But as soon as a third person stepped into his vision, his thoughts went completely haywire. Out of all the people he expected to walk in through that door, Noir definitely wasn’t one of them.

“Welcome to the Flower King, how can I help you?” Asgore quickly jumped up and greeted his potential customers. Asriel appeared like he was in a difficult position. This was the perfect moment to give him some time to think.

Meanwhile Noir seemed to have spotted Asriel and quickly excused himself to, what Asriel assumed to be his parents. With the encounter inevitable, Asriel straightened himself and put on the most honest smile he could muster.

“Hey Noir, didn’t expect to see you here,” the goat was showing a big smile as he greeted his friend, while his father perked up upon hearing that particular name.

“Didn’t expect to see you either,” the human replied joyful tone. “Guess you live somewhere around here?”

Asriel gave a firm nod, which caused his ears to bounce around, and spoke with vigorous enthusiasm: “Yeah, I do.”

“And I guess that’s your father?” Noir looked at the caprine giant that was currently giving advice to his parents. 

“Yes, I am,” Asgore turned around around and looked at the human boy, a gentle smile resting on his face. “You must be Noir then?”

“Yep, that’s me. Pleasure to meet you,” usually Noir would reach for a handshake, but that might not be healthy when taking into consideration the fact that Asgore’s hand was the size of the human’s face.

“The pleasure is all mine,” the fatherly caprine hummed in a content tone. “Please, make yourself at home for as long as you stay,” already treating Noir like he was family, he returned his attention back to Noir’s actual family.

“You know, it’s actually quite funny you showed up,” Asriel chuckled to himself ever so slightly. “Dad and I were just talking about you.”

“Really now?” the human raised an eyebrow as his lips formed a curious smile.

Seeing how easily this could be taken the wrong way Asriel began to panic inside, his voice sounding a little unsettled: “Nothing bad, really. Dad and I were just talking about how,” and now he was about to blurt out more information than necessary. “Anyway, seeing that you’re already here, why don’t I show you around town?” things were getting hectic and the caprine began to feel like he could use a change of scenery. Even if it would make the current situation a little more suspicious than it already was.

“As much as I would love to, I have to decline,” Noir grudgingly declined his offer, much to Asriel’s displeasure. “The only reason we’re here is because we needed to pick up some flowers. We’re actually on our way to visited family.”

“Oh, I see,” once again Asriel’s expression dropped, and along with it the tone in his voice.

“Hey, don’t worry. I’m free tomorrow. So if you want, I can come over and you can show me around as much as you want,” in an attempt to cheer his friend up, Noir proposed a different offer.

“Sure, that sounds fun,” Asriel’s enthusiasm returned as quickly as it left him. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the smartest idea to hang out with Noir today. Asriel still had things planned for the day.

“Great, I’ll text you later,” with his plans set, Noir moved back to his parents, who have seemingly settled for a custom made bouquet of flowers.

There was a moment of silence in which Asriel took a sip from his now cold tea as he watched Noir and his parents pay and leave. There was a bit or arguing, if it’s even possible to call it like that, in which Asgore offered the bouquet for free. Noir’s parents accepted it, but Noir was adamant about paying even if it was out of his own wallet.

“So, that was Noir,” Asgore returned his attention back to his son, the tone of his voice rather content. “He seems like a nice person. His parents certainly are. But boy, can he be stubborn. He was so insistent on paying at least something, that he payed out of his own pocket, saying that I need money to pay my bills.” the father turned quiet for a moment, breaking his silence with a deep, hearty chuckle soon after. “He’s not wrong about that.”

“He’s actually a bit of a hero to me,” Asriel casually mentioned and realized that he ended up feeling a little too safe around his father.

His father made a curious sound and raised an eyebrow, speaking up shortly after in a toned of concern and curiosity: “Did something happen while you were at university?”

“Well, kind of,” Hesitantly, Asriel began to talk about what happened on that particular day. He then proceeded to explain how exactly he met Noir and how they became friends.

Asgore gave a hearty chuckle once his son was done explaining how, and under what circumstances he met Noir. Though it did surprise him how Asriel ended up utterly wasted on his first party. It was rather unexpected, even though Asgore himself ended up wasted on his first frat party. He just didn’t expect Asriel to actually drink alcohol since he always appeared so responsible.

There was a moment of silence permeating the room.

“So, yeah. That’s how university has been going for me,” Asriel spoke up again as his eyes wandered around the shop. “a lot of confusion and uncertainty.”

Another, slightly more awkward moment of silence.

“Well, I think it’s time for me to go,” finishing his cup of cold tea, Asriel placed his empty cup and plate back on the tray. “I’ll try to visit later this week, and call more often.”

Asgore, once again, placed his giant paw on Asriel’s shoulder with a fatherly smile. “Take care of yourself,” he spoke in a fatherly voice, hoping it would convey that Asriel could always fall back on him.

After a quick hug, Asriel left the store and began the short walk back home. By this time, Hometown became quite lively. The pizza place had it’s mascots out, residents were talking to each other on the streets and some simply enjoyed the autumn scenery. Most monsters would strike up a little conversation with Asriel, even if it was just a bit of small-talk. Everything was the was he had always known.

On his way home, Asriel decided to take a look at his phone. He wanted to shoot Kris a message to check if they want to hang out later. They were still in school, but if he remembers correctly they should be at recess right now. So he did that, and was promptly met with a “failed to deliver message” reply. 

Confusion quickly spread across his face. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Hometown might be a rather rural village, but the internet and network connections around here weren’t THAT bad. Maybe something was interfering with the connection. That does happen every now and then.

By the time Asriel arrived, it was slightly past noon. His mother was sitting by her desk and graded the test her class wrote earlier today while the sounds of the TV filled the room with ambient noise. 

“Hey mom, I’m back,” he called out as he closed the front door behind him.

“Welcome back,” Toriel got up from her desk and flashed a motherly smile towards her son, her voice cheerful.

“Hey, do you know if Kris is alright? I tried sending them a message, but it failed to deliver,” with a concerned expression, Asriel turned towards his mother for information. He was worrying too much, he knew that, but if something were to happen to Kris he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

“Kris? They’re probably just spending time with their friends. I wouldn’t worry about it. Susie can seem intimidating at first, but she’s actually quite nice,” the mother calmly replied. She was quite happy with the fact that Kris made friends. It eased some of her worries. “Besides, Susie is quite tough. I don’t think anyone is going to mess with Kris as long as she’s around.”

“Oh, I see” Asriel’s expression eased and he let go off that breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. “Well, I’ll be upstairs if you need me.”

With no other plans for today, Asriel retreated to his shared room and dropped on his bed. As he stared at the ceiling covered in phosphorescent stars and moons, he just mused. About what was, what is and all that could be.

The numerous trophies and medals he earned were proof of his success, and yet he felt as if he accomplished nothing, at least not on his own accord.

He was pushed to reach greatness, so much that he slowly began to feel like his life wasn’t his own. There was this nagging feeling as if he was always stirred to make those choices. Running with the cross country club, singing in the church’s choir, or learning the piano, he enjoyed it for the most part. But in the end, it seemed he only lived for other monsters. It gave him a feeling of constraint, like he was limited to only those choices that others would approve of.

Perhaps that was why he grew to like Noir so quickly. The human didn’t judge him, he didn’t look at him disapprovingly or lectured Asriel. All he did, was show concern and help Asriel. And he did so without any incentive to do so. The human didn’t see Asriel as Hometown’s superstar but simply as Asriel, an 18 year old monster boy from a small town who’s trying to find his place in the world. In Noir’s eyes Asriel is who he is, not who he once was or who he could be one day.

Slowly but surely, Asriel began to realize what made him feel the way he does, why he’s questioning everything he knew so far. But right before he could fully grasp it, his thoughts were cut off by the jingle that played whenever he got a message. 

It was a text message from Noir, just as he promised. And it made the monster question just how long he’s been lying on his bed. As it turns out, time flies whenever he gets lost in his thoughts. The sun was past it’s zenith and a lovely smell of food, currently sizzling in a pan, began to seep into the room.

A bit of additional chatting later, and Asriel had the next day planned. Tomorrow, he will show Noir around town. But for now, he’d enjoy dinner. At least as much as he could without things getting awkward. It seemed as if Kris was still out with Susie, so it would only be Asriel and his mother.


End file.
